Friday, September 19, 2014

JOBS: Smuggling is the Profit

'Kept SuperYads in Business'
(SuperYad is the business of a supermarket bag carrier I started, which turned into gifts)
The hardest part of running any successful business in Israel is knowing how to smuggle.
Smuggling your product into Israel is not easy. Many people have been caught with Marshmallow Fluff. For success, you must be able to smuggle your products past the tax authorities.
Once you take your bags off the carousel, you have to try to real quickly . Do not look at the customs staff. If you say 'Shalom' to them, you are risking confiscation of your stock. Greeting people in Israel is very suspect. This technique of the 'no look' can also be used in the Arab shuk- to ward off people calling you their friend, the Jewish shuk- allowing you to take sunflower seeds and rugulach with no pay, and walking anywhere and bumping into people without saying 'Excuse me.' People do not like initiating interaction with people. Same with customs. If you force them to say 'hello,' they will hold that grudge and check your bags.
The smuggling operation of US items made in China must be done by fitting all products into your bag. Nothing goes on carry on, as you do not want the extra weight to carry with you on the flight. You must fit all items into a 29 inch bag, without going over 50 lbs. That is what made the SuperYad business hard to run. The Superyads were too bulky, limiting me to an import of 100 items a run. Even worse, it hurt my ability to smuggle in the electronics.
Be sure to use whatever non-Israeli look you can. I use a baseball hat, as that looks American. Even so, there is still a chance of getting caught as an American, as that is where the products come from. Best to look European. No Dutch person has ever been caught for smuggling. If you can get a pair of clogs, walk through customs with the wooden shoes.
Every Oleh to Israel has had practice smuggling in electronics and whiskey. If you have two or more laptops, you have already had some practice. So don't think you do not have what it takes to be an entrepreneur in Israel.
To run the business right, you have to delegate the workload. Your main importers are family, close friends and friends of family visiting Israel. Pushing your product over the boarder in small shifts. This way each person can say, ‘I am bringing it for personal use.’
For this to work legally, you must have people who are willing to expand on the truth. ‘I am bringing it for myself, to give to David, to sell to other people, so that he will make money- which will make me happy.’ See, thus they are bringing it into Israel for their own use, and not for business. If they can, taping the products to the body also works well.
Starting a good smuggling ring in your American community is very easy. Most people are already used to bringing gifts. Thus, you tell your family to have them bring these gifts for you, to sell. They are already not telling the tax authorities that they are bringing gifts, as gifts are illegal to bring in too. At least it feels illegal to bring gifts when the security check asks you, 'Are you bringing gifts?' The way ask, puts the average tourist on edge; thus, accustoming them to saying they are not bringing any gifts.
I do not think that there has ever been a visitor to Israel with a gift, or an American product that they did not buy in Israel. My mother has grandchildren in Israel. For years, she has never brought them any gifts from America. But she has brought a lot of Teletubbies and Pokemon dolls for herself to use when she visits.
I have never met anybody who bought and iPad in Israel. Yet, nobody ever purchased an iPad outside of Israel. This is why we are the Holy Land. Miracles occur.
Smuggling the extra liter of alcohol is hard enough. SuperYad trafficking is a whole different league of hard. As, there is no use for your trafficking and it is very hard to find storage in your house. You could go the route of shipping them in. However, after you have paid the 500% tax and you have sold nothing, you start to realize that there is no point in your business. So, be sure you are smuggling in useful items, and not an idea for a business that I suggested to you. That is almost as bad as my giving you a stock tip.
I did get lucky recently and after seven years of storing the stuff in my room, I met a guy who also sells pointless stuff, like microwave plates. He sells this pointless stuff for a lot of money. Now I am selling the product to him for half of what it is worth, and I am in business. So you know, it is an amazing product and all three of the people that bought it, love it. It is the only conversation I have with them, whenever I pass them in a store or on the streets of Jerusalem. They make it a point to tell me, ‘I love that product…I forgot it at home again…when I used it that time I didn’t forget it, I loved it…I am thinking of getting my sister a granny-cart too.’
I was never involved in the granny-cart business, but I do hope they are enjoying the cart on wheels. I personally wouldn't pay that much for a cart. I recently purchased one from the supermarket, for 5nis. I put the 5 shekel into the cart and took it home too.
Point is, I am almost out of gifts, and now I am going to have to start smuggling in challah covers.
Lessons:
-Smuggle if you want to make money.
-Always carry an extra duffle when traveling to America.
-Dress European, to get past the tax authorities. Stuff in Europe is so expensive that nobody would smuggle from there. Lack of deodorant might also have them thinking you are from Israel, and then they might check your bags.
-Do not take any business advice from David.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

JOBS: When Business Goes Bad

My first idea for a business was the SuperYad. It didn’t work.
I thought the name was clever. Super means super in Hebrew, and super also means big, and it even means supermarket. You following? Nice. I know. Yad means hand. So it means big hand too. It can also mean hand for the supermarket. Brilliant concept. Brilliant name. I know.
I’ll stop with the justifying. It was an upside down triangle. You can slip your bags on it. 
I had to close down the business because you cannot making a living off of 500 pieces. If I was selling 500 homes, I would have been set. I was selling a 35 cent item, for $2. I had a great markup going. Yet, I still didn't pull much profit. The calling it 'Super' 'Big' 'Huge' 'Large' racket I had going, was sweet. Worked right into the hands of the Huge neighborhood supermarkets of Israel, called Huge and Giant, because they are not makolets.
I had a whole ad campaign. I would go to the shuk and tell them: ‘This is a better product. This was made in Americaת and Americans are smarter.’ You have to speak to the people. The people I was selling to were Israelis. They know Americans are smarter. At least they assumed they are smart, as they speak a fluent English. Back fifteen years ago, that was a great sale. Now there are too many Americans in Israel, and the Israelis figured us out.
Another key to sales that I mastered was drawing the attention of the masses. You have to know how to draw them to your product. I used physical contact. When you bump into people or lightly touch people passing by, they generally turn around. It is a sales technique that works on countless levels, and can get you arrested. I took my chances. 
I put on a sales show too. I would take the upside down triangle, known as the SuperYad, and pick people up, or rip their pants. I would give the whole getting on the bus shtick and having to put all your bags down, with a guy screaming ‘Move faster- why wait us?’ Explain how apples go flying out of the bags, all the way to the other side of the bus- smacking people in the face, if you don’t have my product. The key to sales being that they have to understand why your product is different, and what issue is being solved. I made it clear that my product stopped the problem of flying apples on buses. Then I would talk about how painful it is to put down all your plastic bags in the shuk with each store you go to and then to have to pick them up. Point is I sold three.
After two years of sales, I still don't know what 'why wait us' means.

It was my business, which turned gifts. Just like every business my family ever started, such as the bookstore, the ice cream truck business, and the mirrors with the names on it- which we mass-produced with the name Ben (Jeremy and Hana were not happy with that gift; Ben was even more pissed off when he got three mirrors for his Bat Mitzvah). That is all it is, gifts that I found on sale. That is what my family does, we find gifts on sale. We don’t purchase real gifts for Bar Mitzvah boys. We find a watch that was $500. We pay $25 for it. The young man’s parents think we spent a bundle on their kid, until they go to the Christmas Tree Shop. 
In my family's tradition, I have been giving gifts. I even give wedding gifts now, because they don't know that I found the SuperYads on sale. People love the SuperYad, or give a shocked look when they get it. Either way, with all their disappointment, they are trying to make it look like they appreciate it. As long as the look is one of shock, it is close enough to appreciation. And that is enough comfort for me to keep on giving it. Many people also have two hands; allowing me to give them another SuperYad. 
I got my master's degree. I worked for that. When I made Aliyah, I decided to aim higher. I went straight to selling SuperYads. No formal education in SuperYad sales, I still shot for the stars. 
That is what matters. I came to Israel and I put my all into it. 500 units. Started a business. Maybe there is no business anymore, but it was the greatest investment I ever made. My friends know how much money I have saved on not purchasing candle holders or challah covers. If you live in Jerusalem, I know you loved it when I gave you that first, second, and even third SuperYad, for couples shopping. You smiled and even looked to your spouse for approval; letting you know that you can smile at David and he will go away. You even mistakenly invited me back, after you received  a full four SuperYads. But you smiled with a shocked look. Surprised that one person can have so many of the same gifts. Asking yourself how it is possible for one person to have such a big heart. The investment of friendship. To you, two dollars. A solid gift. For me, 35 cents.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

JOBS: Your First Business in Israel

First couple of years, it is hard trying to figure out your way. Finding jobs is hard the first couple of years. Many people give up and become a security guard with no training in basic self-defense. 
You now realize that your college degree was pointless and you can't speak the language. But you will make it, because Israel is the Home Land and you have faith. You are in Israel, you are an immigrant and you are useless.

The real problem is family. If you have children, you have to make a living. Even if you just have a wife, they do not like living on the streets. All that romantic stuff and looking at the stars isn’t for them. The real romantics are the men sleeping under the stars next to Crack Square. Women aren’t romantic like that. Women want money. They are more into the diamond kind of romantic, the ‘you just spent $5,000 on me and you are going to be sleeping under the stars because you are now broke, while I find another man who can pay for this new house of mine’ kind of romantic. You can try making it look cool without a car. And it looks smooth when you take a woman's hand and say, 'Why don't you join me for a walk?' But when she is living with you, she knows that she is carrying the groceries home, because you have no car.
So if you are a family man, you need a job. You are married and the car is an expression of love. Without it, you won't have any.
So you can work for somebody, but who moved to the Promised Land for that? Become an entrepreneur. This is the start-up nation and you know nothing about technology.
Being that you have no idea what is going on, and you can plead ignorance if you can't pay your rent, because you don't understand the contract, you can start a business. That is the best way to lose all of your savings.
Starting a Business: I did this. This is the best option for somebody who doesn’t want to work like normal people and make money. If you like waking up late and showing up to work late, this is for you. The only issue is that you have no boss to complain about. As the foundation of any good job is based on a few hours after work, to complain about somebody else, it can get hard. You can complain about your staff, but you are a small business owner, and you cannot complain about your wife, when you go home. You don't want to lose your staff and your spouse at the same time. That happens, you don't need a job anymore.
For lack of a boss, every business owner complains about his job. I learned that my first couple of years in Israel. I learned that the most important part to having a business in the Middle East is to not have repeat customers. If there are repeat customers, you let them know how difficult it is to run a business. The first cab I got into, the driver was telling me how much he hates driving. Then he started getting angry about how people explain where they live and give him directions. As he didn't turn on his signal, I told him turn left. I asked the makolet guy how his day was and he gave me his financial statements. He started his speech, ‘Business is down. The raising rent. Check out my banking statements.’ I paid and told him to have a good day. I just wanted milk. 
Lesson was taken. 

Over the years, I have tried many legit businesses. It is hard. As a new immigrant, you are relegated to certain businesses. Here are a few businesses I was involved in:
- I tried opening a bathroom, charging a shekel. That went down when the hotel opened next door, and gave people bathroom use for free.
-I tried working security. Turns out people were lying when they said they didn’t have guns. They fired me when they realized I was learning Hebrew.
-I tried working in America, then I made Aliyah and I realized that my commute to work was very long- worse than commuting from Long Island to The City (New York that is, which is The City- at least Manhattan). I would have continued commuting, but I didn’t want to live in Chashmonaim. Chashmonaim is a town near Modiin and their slogan and ad is ‘Live in Israel, work in America… Have you not seen your family this past month. Are you not a sailor. Chashmonaim is the perfect place to leave your children. Let them run around and get lost. We will post the lost child on ChashmoChat for you…Want to live in America? Come to Chashmonaim and forget about Israel, until you pick up your groceries at Ram Levi.’
-I tried selling Ahava skin cream products in malls, but I wanted to live in Israel. I felt bad using the suggested sales technique of ‘You are ugly…now that you feel disgusting and are crying, buy this product and you might feel a little better about your uni-browed ugly self.’ The selling of Israeli products in the malls was the greatest idea. There are not enough tourists coming to Israel nowadays and it is important to export Israel’s number one product of scamming Americans. Ripping off Americans is what Israelis are good at. What is better than getting them to buy Israeli products that are packaged. 
  
Start Your Business. If you want to be creative and enjoy what you do. That is what I did and that is why I was not successful. 
You must be careful with taxes. At the time I started, I didn’t know that they take taxes. They even take taxes for having a place. The taxes on your location are not even on what you make. You can make nothing and they will still tax you on your location. My business was in minus (as they call it in Israel) before I spent a shekel.
Lesson: If you want to stay married, find a way to not pay all of your taxes. 
Either that or find a boss you fryer.