Problem:
Most young immigrants are taught about Israel on Birthright or some other trip that other people are paying for.
Immigrants think everybody is going to be nice and happy, then they move and find out there are neighbors in Israel, as well. Too many people move away, because we have not eased them into the Middle Eastern way of life. It takes time for people to understand the true beauty of Israel. The 200% off sale, where you still have to pay for the item, does not make sense until one is a veteran of The Land.
Experience for Cause of Change:
I noticed this excited young group of tourists. Birthright showed them how great Israel can be, when you are on tour. They were all taking in the full experience of waking up, like Israelis, in a hotel with a buffet breakfast. They stayed in tents, experienced the exact way Bedouins live. They became one with the same wilderness the Bedouins visit, to help tourists feel like there are Bedouins there. Everybody they met in the Middle East smiled at them. Even the Bedouins gave them a happy glance and then went back to their house in Arad.
They witnessed the beauties of the Israeli gift shops and then tipped their tour guides and bus drivers, happily. Their happy tour guides and bus drivers who already got their 10% kickback, from the 200% off sale at the Masada gift shop. It was all beautiful and normal. They were eager to wake up at 3am to go to Masada, because that is what Israelis do, everyday. At sunrise, 200% off made sense for these tourists. These young tourists connected with the real way of life in Israel, like it was 2,000 years ago.
They were ready to make Aliyah, and they did. 'If the people of Israel can rough it out in a hotel, paid for by Schotennstein, we can too,' was the motto chanted on the bus to Masada.
Five months later, I ran into these same young excited tourists at their absorption center Ulpan (language study). They asked me why the 10am dinner was chocolate spread. They were surprised to find out that supper was a Baraka. They had no idea that they were supposed to fill up at lunch. Nobody coached them. They were thrown into a whirlwind of eating times, and didn't even know what the need for a 10am dinner was, after an 8:30am breakfast.
Three months later, when they realized Nefesh BNefesh was not going to provide lunch anymore, they left. They were not ready. They were not eased in. Nobody explained to them why a four course lunch is followed by a supper of some sort of soft filo dough.
It takes four years before somebody is committed. It takes eight years before people realize that they cannot go back to their native land, as they have forgone all their professional aspirations.
SOLUTION:
Acclimation plan for a keeping Olim from moving
-Israelis must share the sidewalk with the Oleh until 4 months in. At that point, you can walk straight on the sidewalk, not moving aside for other people who might also walk on sidewalks.
-Celebrating Yom HaAtzmaut? Shaving cream cannot be sprayed on somebody until their third Yom HaAtzmaut in Israel. It is only at that point that an immigrant has given up on looking decent, and is willing to take the can and whack a child with a spray can. It is about breaking them in slowly. First Yom HaAtzmaut, immigrants are only to do Israeli dancing to the traditional Israeli Latin songs.
-The sochnut (Jewish Agency) 2 inch mattress, which accentuate the metal grids frame, can only be used in the absorption center 5 months in. Have it be the last lesson in Ulpan, about survival. Many of my friends left after not getting a decent night's sleep. It is an absorption center, not a detention camp. The sochnut got stuck in the Atlit idea of immigration. At least there, they had wooden frames.
-Cutting off a driver can only start a year into the person's Aliyah. If you see somebody using a blinker and not jumping into your lane without looking, take it easy on them. They are probably new to the country. They have probably not seen the 'half maybe I might make a left hand turn- stop in the middle of the intersection- turn.' They are also not used to being beeped at a red light, because it might turn green.
-You cannot serve tap water to an immigrant until one and a half years into their move. Let them have their first run in with shishul, and then show them what the inside of the kumkum (plastic kettle) looks like.
Cabs are not allowed to beep a person while walking, until they are 2 years in. This will be hard on cab drivers, as it is a reflex for them to beep all walkers.
-Israeli salesmen of Dead Sea products are not allowed to approach an immigrant until 3 years in. It is too close to their Aliyah. They might become nostalgic and want to move back to go shopping at an America mall. It is also only at that point, of 3 years, that the non-native Israeli can sense when somebody is trying to take advantage of them. Before that point, they still think that the Middle Eastern salesmen are really their ‘friend.’ Hence the constant relationship of purchase from the guy who is calling you ‘my friends.’
-4 years before Vaad Bayit (building committee monies) is collected. The explanation of where those funds are going to is too complicated for anybody who cannot explain Mrs. Barzilay’s (my neighbor) new car.
-Nesher cab ride to Jerusalem can only take people who have been in Israel for at least 5 years. That driver right there is a reason for anybody to want to leave the country. When a group cab takes five hours to get you back to your home from the airport, after the driver yells at you for having bags...
-Olim get everything for free until 6 years in. It is only at that point that they are committed enough to Israel to not be supported. As we have learned from Birthright and Masa, nobody should have to pay for anything they do that is connected to the being Jewish. Lets get the country involved. We have to make the Absorption Basket bigger.
Serious injury must be taken care of by private doctors until 8 years in. At that point, you can have them join the socialized health care system. People need this time to accept the doctor can care less about the broken arm, which he made chronic, by the lack of treatment received, because he works for the medical fund. I got better treatment in 20 minutes at synagogue, back in Rochester, then seven months in Israel.
If this bill does not pass, make it mandatory for immigrants to learn about the in-gathering of the exiles and how being in a new country means you may not understand what is going on.
