JOBS: I am not part of the Start-up Nation

None of these jobs involve credentials. And to come up with an idea does not take a degree. You hire those people.

I am an ideas guy.
Most people say that because they are lazy, and they want to piss-off small business owners, who work real hard on ideas that do not make money. I am an ideas guy because I have no chance of making any of my ideas happen, and I don't want to be left out of conversations. I find that people disrespect you unless you have something worthless to say.
I never believed in my ideas enough to hire people to develop them. I don't feel it is right to get somebody else to invest when I don't even believe in them enough to work on them myself. But there is no shame over here, in Israel. We are now known as the Start-up Nation. We will work on a project just long enough to get rid of it. Then, it is your problem.
I still think that a device that can inject gas into your car, without you having to get out of your car, would be an amazing invention. And I am not talking about people filling up your tank who are not citizens of your country, or residents of New Jersey. Great invention and I will still use it for dinner party conversation.
May I add, I will never be the ideas guy who lets somebody know how his idea can be better. That is not an ideas person. That is just a random guy who likes frustrating people. 'You have been working in your field for a good fifteen years. I have a couple of minutes, and I have thought about it just now. You should bring down the price on your cost...If there is anything else you haven't thought of for ten hours a day, over the past fifteen years, I am here for you. If work doesn't bother you enough, I have more ideas for how you can make it better...' That is what it sounds like when you are giving advice, Mr. I Have An Idea That Can Help You.
Venture capital, consultant, start-up. Does anybody work nowadays?
And may I add, if you are giving me advice on my business and calling it consulting, that is a scam.
That is what Start-up Nation means. Our country is full of a bunch of people who like bothering people who are working hard at their profession. A bunch of people who give useless advice at dinner parties, to people who do not want to talk about their business, which they just got back home from. Somebody turned this dinner talk into a profession. And then, some guy who had money decided that he wanted to stop hearing these unique ideas which have been done. He threw the guy a few shekel to shut up. And then the dinner continued and nobody had to listen to anymore talk about making the internet faster. Until five years later, when the guy with all the advice sold his business for 40 million dollars.
I hate dinner parties.

I still think my gas idea is brilliant. Patent. Even so, I have still not figured out how to make money off my lack of credentials.
The closest I came to a job with no credentials was my first job in Israel. I was as a full time substitute teacher. That meant I had to sleep all day. It was hard to keep up. Sometimes I want to wake up in the daytime. I was committed to the craft of being a new immigrant substitute teacher for the Israeli youth.
As a substitute, the school made sure to call me when they were extremely desperate, and I had to be ready. My staying in was a necessity. I was on call. The general calls I got were, ‘We need you today…the 95 year old we had to wheel in yesterday lost his wheelchair…teach the Israeli kids Hebrew.’ I did not feel as useful in that position, as I was in ulpan at the time. Teaching the kids their language when I was trying to learn it, while disciplining them in the language I had not learned yet, was a challenge. But they needed somebody to come in and stop fights. And my challenge was not as hard as the man in the wheelchair pushing his way up 20 stairs to get to the school.
They were high school kids and they were crazy. They were different than the American kind of high school kids. They spoke Hebrew.
They did not want to learn, which made them normal. I had to blame it on them. As a substitute, my job was to blame and discipline. I had one lesson that I taught, and it was the same lesson every time. My lesson was ‘If you do not quiet down and behave, then we are not going to get through today’s lesson.’ It was a valuable lesson, and my threat worked. There was no lesson. Those kids went home feeling really stupid, knowing they missed out on learning something.
I definitely set a fine example as to what you will have to do if you don't find a way to get money from the rich people in the Start-up Nation. And I am sure they would not want to deal with themselves.
In a way, I feel like I did my part in the Start-up Nation. I started a lesson which didn't take place. I started up a game of dodgeball. I even started up a line to the principle's office.
I had to move onto a different job. As part of the Start-up Nation, I came in, did my thing and I was ready to pass it on to somebody else before I learned how to do it. And I will tell you that since then, I have had many dinner conversations about teenagers.

Lessons:
-Do not work too hard or you will make no money.
-People respect other people who have ideas, even if they are yours.
-If you can't make it, become a substitute. Not being able to successfully discipline children, while only working once a week, makes you feel like you have made it in the Start-up Nation.
-Some people never take the best ideas. Such as the gas injector idea.

JOBS: I am Not a Rabbi & Definitely Not a Doctor

My credentials were weak. I don't even feel like my rabbinical career was a real one. I worked on a campus. I was a Hillel rabbi. I was part of the second tier of rabbis. I was working with college students. They did not trust me with regular people. They figured, 'students drink a lot of alcohol, they won’t notice the difference.'
I didn’t work with the regular Jewish life cycle events. I did not have the opportunity to initiate a young man into adulthood. However, I did initiate some young men into their fraternities, and introduced them to binge drinking. That is a step in the direction of being a man and puking. I make changes to those souls and lives. I performed the handing over of the Shabbat Kiddush Mug ceremony. All new brothers could perform the Shabbat Kiddush and then use that same cup to go around to all the parties and drink underage. That was the most meaningful life cycle change I was able to be part of.
It was meaningful. I must say, bringing religious meaning to the life of young adults is beautiful.

I would have thought to have worked as a rabbi, social worker, or doctor in Israel. I am not a doctor, and that has nothing to do with it. I will tell you that if I was a doctor, I wouldn’t correct people for calling me by my name. I am not a pretentious ‘I worked for that title’ never had a girlfriend in high school degree person. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school, and that has nothing to do with it. I got a masters degree, and none of our curriculum addressed the topic of how to be conceited and bald. We did not get educated on how to be jerks to everybody we meet.
In Israel, you do not hear people correcting you for not calling them a doctor, because in Israel, the doctor does not make the money which makes it worthwhile to be called a doctor.
Twenty three shekel an hour does not make it worthwhile to work in your profession. Want to make money in Israel, as an immigrant, be a waiter. Then people will call you doctor, and it will be like a cool nickname. Maybe they'll even call you 'Doc' and you can have a personality and the same job as your kid. Better yet, do not graduate high school. Then you won't feel stupid for not dating anybody or having a life in high school, and you will not feel the insecure need to be called a doctor, when you are a teacher.
Your education was a mistake, accept it. Be a renaissance man and let those customers know, ‘I am waiter. That is waiter. I dropped out of school for that. Check out my certificate…worker of the month.’ That is something to be proud of.
That is why we do not call other people by titles in Israel. Being a doctor would make me a fryer. Spending an extra five years in school to make as much as a waiter...calling yourself anything other than a waiter would make you a fryer. Say what you want, it is the meaning behind the job which is why somebody would do it in Israel. But do not mistake, in Israel, you do not pay much for university. In America you have to be called a doctor, because you are spending 20 years paying somebody named Sallie back for that certificate hanging on that wall, making you whatever you are. ‘Call me a doctor! Damn it!’ Add in a little soft curse after you force me to say doctor, and then I might respect you.
And stop talking about wine.

Lessons:
Be a waiter. Tips is what you need. If you cannot be a waiter, be a tour guide. The real money is in the stuff you do not report.

JOBS: Rabbi In America- Club Owner in Israel

Acting as a rabbi was very meaningful. I was a community figure. People looked up to me. They even called me rabbi. They needed somebody to blame for their lack of moral fortitude and forced three hours of Hebrew day school every week during their childhood. I had to pretend like I was an upstanding citizen and carer of people. I had to pretend that this world could make sense, and I was going to help you find that meaning. I had to pretend that I knew something.
They respected me and even talked about me when I did anything they did. I was important.
I hadn’t found any meaning myself. But a rabbi, like a good parent, lies. We have to make you feel like it is all going to be good. We do that, and people feel great. We bring joy to peoples’ non-pathetic lives and give them meaning. And they hold onto that meaning, until they lose their job, get a bad grade in school, or meet somebody they are attracted to.
I could have used the Torah to bring meaning to peoples' lives. But that would be the easy way out and quite overdone by all rabbis. Hack, if I may say. Everybody already has one of those rabbis.

As a rabbi in Israel, I couldn’t bring that same joy. They watch the news, they know what is going on, and they learn Torah. I don't have that meaning of external dependence anymore. Now, I have to try to bring that meaning to myself, from inside. I have to look at my own life, and lie to myself. It is a lot harder. As a rabbi, all that holy energy channels somehow. You have a position which forces meaning into your life. You are an important person, who represents your tradition and brings Torah to peoples’ lives, and it is beautiful. So, I got away from that profession.
I took up comedy because I couldn’t be honest enough, as a rabbi. I wanted to tell people to get a grip and to stop complaining. I wanted to tell them that they should blame themselves. I wanted to tell them that Gd might forgive you, but you still have to pay James the money you owe him. But no spiritual being wants to hear that. Debt is the reason Frank became religious.

Smicha/rabbinic ordination, was a real process. It helped shape who I am. As with all education and everything I have learned, I forgot it. I am not making any money off it. I made Aliyah and I work in comedy.
I have a masters in social work and rabbinic ordination. This book, with grammatical mistakes, cost my parents 150,000 dollars. My dad is not happy about it either. He also does not find it funny.

What I learned from being a rabbi and social worker? I do not like dealing with people's complaints, unless there is money involved. That is the difference between a rabbi and a priest. A rabbi won’t take confession, for anything less than $50. We know how much Jewish people like to complain. Coupled with free, that is a hard job.
As I learned, people like to complain about everything. And rabbis do have offices. I had a couple sitting in front of me. It was a boyfriend and girlfriend. I was working with college students, not people with anything meaningful going on in their lives. I did have to deal with this guy complaining about the movie they saw last night. ‘She doesn’t like going to horror flicks and I wanted to go…Wha Wha Wha…’ I said it and my rabbinical career was over. ‘Shut up, you whiny little…at least you have a girlfriend...I am going to movies by myself.’
Once they heard I go to movies and do stuff that they do, they lost all respect for me. Word got out that the rabbi likes movies and women, and it was over. No Christians wanted to come to my programs, and there was no attendance at the Hillel events anymore.
Rabbis can have girlfriends and even get married. That is another difference between a rabbi and a priest. A priest can’t have a girlfriend. A rabbi can have a girlfriend, he just can’t touch her. This is why it is always better to confess to a priest. As they do not have a woman in their life, there is no chance that everybody in the community will hear about your problems and iniquities.
I would not confess to an imam right now. I do not know much about the Muslim community's traditions regarding confession, but after what I have seen with Iran, Iraq and Syria, I want to know first. Oh. I said it. Bring on the angry-I-am-offended mail.

From What I learned about myself, whatever I do, there has to be meaning to it. There has to be a purpose. For that reason, it is important to make a lot of money. Making money gives purpose to everything. If there is enough money involved, you can do really negative stuff to the world, like start wars.
In my comedy, there has to have a purpose to it. At least to me, it is important to be self righteous. At least now I complain and make money from it. And people have to listen to me, and they cannot talk. That is the beauty of being a comedian, it is a win-win. I get the benefit of being the rabbi and the congregant.
 
Lessons:
-Get a job as a social-mental service provider and/or spiritual adviser. Life is much better when you focus on other people's problems.
-If you have complaints, go to clergy. Social workers charge.
-Being a rabbi is a meaningful career choice. Even learning Torah and studying the Jewish laws is meaningful. Although I do not work as a rabbi today, I still get that same feeling when I see the Hebrew letters of the Torah, that I do not understand it.

JOBS: Rewarding Work

Are jobs as rewarding in Israel? No. That is the answer. And that is if you can find a job in the non-profit world. Which means your paycheck will be coming in from America.
Life is more rewarding. There is something to that. It is about perspective. If you view Israel as a large non-profit, you care constantly donating money. If you become broke, you can donate money to yourself. You are part of the non-profit. Asking family for money should come with no shame. You are raising money for your organization. It is all about perspective. You get ripped off by a scandalous store owner, that is fine. You are not the fryer. You are supporting Israel and fraud.
In the worst of circumstances, you can find beauty in this world. They call it 'unemployed' in America. That sounds negative. In Israel, it is called social security collection time. It is your chance for a 'paid vacation,' thanks to Bituach Leumi.' It is the only time in your life that you will see money from Bituach Leumi, the social security people.
I have a purpose here. The purpose on a simple level is that I am part of the development of the Jewish Home Land, The Holy Land, The Dream. I might be messing it up for others, but I am sharing in the future of messing it up for the Jewish people. My justification for my existence, is that I am in Israel. Work is secondary. Making a living and supporting a family is secondary. Making my parents feel as though they did not waste money on a full life of private school is secondary. I have not given up on the other parts of life, but I now have my justification. Family I may not have, but I do have justification. I moved to Israel and my job does not pay well. I haven’t brought family to the Jewish people yet. But I am in Israel and I am trying to find a way to pay less taxes.
I did not say that I want to support the government. But it is meaningful. It is not rewarding labor. It is real labor. I now run a bar. A non-profit bar, where Jews can come and not tip.
Work-wise, I have found my place and continue to do so. And it is rewarding to share in the nightlife of the Holy City, where we shall one day hopefully not have to see the children of Beit Shemesh. They are annoying. And maybe parents should not let their children travel at 3am.

I was a rabbi in America. There I could be a rabbi. When I made Aliyah, Israelis figured me out real quick. The goatee did not pass for a beard. The lack of Hebrew abilities…they knew right away. In the US, you can get away without knowing stuff, because other people in the US don’t know stuff. You read transliteration in the middle of your speech and they know you are serious. However, in Israel, when you are deciphering deep issues of Jewish law with a picture book, they catch on. I want to put a little thank you out there to that Shabbat laws picture book, I would have never passed the rabbinic ordination test without you.

Lesson:
-Justify your lack of professional work. It makes for a happier Aliyah. You can finally put your doctorate in physics to work and be a plumber, or a builder.
-It is about perspective. You are building in the Jewish homeland. That is charity work, and that is meaningful. Just tell your parents you are a doctor.
-Make your Jewish American parents happy. Bring some naches and open up a bar with $300,000 they spent on your education.
-It is hard to find rabbi jobs in Israel. Apparently everybody hear learns Torah. Use your smicha, rabbinic ordination, for something positive. I run a kosher bar, an I am the mashgiach. That saves money for the non-profit.

Introduction # 2: Take Offense

OK. You know something. Take offense. At this point, I can care less.

Trying to pretend like you feel bad. Finally somebody cares about something enough to talk honestly about it. You still don’t understand that people move to Israel because it’s colorful. You don’t move to Israel because it is easy. It isn’t perfect. Nonetheless, I, the Anglo, am trying to make it more like an ancient Germanic tribal culture. It may not make much sense, but it is honest. We are called Anglos once we move to Israel.
If you are angry at me for my love of Israel and angry about this book, then please protest. That is called advertisement.
I am not claiming to be brilliant, but this book will probably help more people in their Aliyah, helping people decide to make that move. The move to a country trying improve itself, constantly making it worse. The truth is raw. But that is what most people, who want life, connect with. The world is not a non-profit organization, and this generation doesn’t donate as much as the last generation of Jews did.

Every racist has said he was speaking the truth. That is not the point I am making. I am not a racist. Every racist has said he is not a racist. I am also not a male-chauvinist. Every male-chauvinist uses ‘he’ to refer to both male and female. That is not the point, and I will continue to use ‘he’ to mean female too, even if I am not talking about Anglos. The point is that that there are not enough mini-golf courses. And I have no idea what to do on a Saturday. The point is that I now have to go to sleep early on a Saturday night. And there is no Sunday either. The point is that there are a lot of different Jews in Israel, and we all come together. We all know it is messed up. And it is that struggle that we all love. And there is nowhere to struggle and live, more than in Israel. We love the color of it. The life.
I want honesty. I want truth. I want Torah. I want Israel.
If you cannot handle ‘the truth,’ then you cannot handle Aliyah.

Every annoying person I have ever met has taken ‘offense.’ Annoying people with nothing to say love saying, ‘I take offense to that.’ It is as if the discomfort they cause is their rebuttal. As if the fact that they never shared an experience, or interacted with people who are connected with it, gives them the right to take offense.
Somebody says ‘offensive’ and they all gasp. Got to jump on the offense train, or you are also the offender.
Argue with a ‘that is offensive’ and you also have no soul. Who wants to be that guy at the group Shabbat meal? You can get ostracized for not sharing in an offense. A murderer, a felon of hate, a daemon with a non-racist opinion. No idea what the offense is to, but you must join in.
It is the same annoying people who sit at your Shabbat table and ask everybody to share a really ‘happy’ story that happened this week. You keep on doing that, and you might find one happy parson, who is pissing off everybody else at the table. I am offended by the length of this guy’s happy story.
You forget about the happiness found in the truth. The deeper happiness found in making the right decisions with every action you are blessed to do in your life. That is the happiness found in Israel. It isn’t easy. But we find real happiness, when we take our neighbors garbage and dump it on their doormat. That is called Tikun Olam (fixing the world). That is called making the world a better place. If I am not dumping garbage, what am I doing to make Israel better? Just taking offense.
We move to Israel, to be a light amongst the nations, from where the light emanates. It sounds better with biblical words, such as ‘emanates.’ Hence, to use another word which sounds real good, we look to better Israel. We move here to teach Israelis to not stand in the middle of a sidewalk, as to let people pass. We teach them to say ‘Excuse me.’ We educate them on new items, like deodorant, and how there is no reason to have an ozone if we cannot breath.
The point is that you only care to change what you love. And as an Anglo Jew who must live in Israel, I love complaining. For all of its faults, America has just as many things that need changing.
It is this blatant disregard for facts and feelings which are connected with the word ‘offensive’ that has so many Americans yelling out ‘Israel is wrong,’ with no idea. It feels good to be pro-hatred and anti-Israel. You can join me on this journey in my way of thinking. I too am offended by all of this.

Lesson:
-Don’t make Aliyah because it is easy. Make Aliyah because it is painful and hard.
-‘Lfum Tzara Agra’- According to your pain, is your reward. That is where you find the true happiness of Aliyah.
-Buy this book because it is not edited right.
-Truth is spoken by good teachers and racists.
-People who take offense are annoying. They kill every decent conversation. They have nothing to add to the conversation, but they love taking offense. That is their statement they learned while watching all the debate shows. You say ‘offense’ and now nobody can argue with you.
‘I am speaking the truth.’ That is how I won this argument. My response to the offense taker on Shabbat was, ‘You are annoying.’ As I was applauded, I won. I hope he took offense to that.
-Male-chauvinists refer to the general woman as ‘he.’
-People make Aliyah because they are connecting with something. And that thing is not a floatie, touchy feely fakeness. It is a touchy feely real.
-David thinks he is great because he made Aliyah.
-David does not bother people to make Aliyah, like every other Oleh who feels the need to constantly bother every tourist, about not living in Israel. He doesn’t like killing people’s vacation.
-David knows Aliyah is the right decision. He is offended.

***Show to be offended by- Thursday night, at 8:30pm, at Off The Wall Comedy Basement, (Hebrew show tonight at 9:45pm)

JOBS: Jews Are Mechanics

Mechanic is another good profession. We are in Israel and Jews that move from America have to do physical  labor here. Shameful. Embarrassing. I know.
The whole labor idea kind of killed my perception of a Jew. A whole life of owning garages, and now Jews were working in them too. In my first week at ulpan, I already realized that higher education was pointless. Even third grade was pointless. Addition and subtraction was enough. In ulpan they made sure I had down the third grade level, then they said, 'Go. That is enough for you to make it here, in your new homeland.'
I learned on the streets, as any manual laborer must. I became a person of the world. I even learned how to use a stick shift. I felt like I had become contaminated. I felt like such a low life.

A close friend of mine moved to Israel and is now working as a mechanic. He understands that when you move to Israel, the Jewish stereotype changes. We are not the weak Jew who has been oppressed our whole life and is now extremely rich. We are the Oleh who is the weak Jew, who is being oppressed by our fellow Middle Eastern employees, and is now extremely poor. But that is what those first few years are about; learning the way of the land. You have to shed that stereotype of the weak American and be that person that is not the fryer.
You must learn to do the frying. In business, there is a winner and a loser. That is the Middle Eastern way of life. There is no win-win. That is only in sports like Matkot. In the US, there is always a win-lose in sports; hence, in business, there must be a win-win. It starts on the basic level. Which cubical do you have? Do not lose the fight, or you will be the fryer. Never mentioned in conversation as it is happening, you will notice when all the dine pt. pens are taken, and you are stuck with the medium points. Do not do what you believe to be a favor, you fryer. Never hold the door for anybody. That would make you the weak, the fryer.
Americans know how to screw people over on a global level. However, that doesn't help when you end up getting cut in line and now have to eat semi-warm falafel. We did not grow up doing petty frying (verb for word fryer- see The Aliyah Dictionary for explanation. The reflexive verb would be Hitfrafreiti- where you screw over yourself), unless we had fruit and traded that for chips at snack time. Americans do not do frying, they use lawyers to screw people over. You don't hold the door, that is fine. You are not the fryer for doing me a favor, but I will find a way to sue you for offending me. You might have won the game, but I have your home.
In America, there is no room for petty frying games. It is all cut too right. You do not have to wait in line to see a doctor. But you will die with your healthcare, because you are over 70.

I know the physical labor concept sounds a bit harsh. Nefesh BNefesh and the Jewish Agency have been trying to hide it for years. They have not hooked up anybody with a job as business owner, and they will not admit to that. They did not mention labor when they said that there are jobs in Israel, and that is wrong. However, there are ways of getting around the physical labor.
You don’t necessarily have to do the labor. You can be the head mechanic that never touches a car and justifies to the people how it took 2 hours of labor to change a tire. Letting them know how hard it was, while taking 250nis an hour, for a 2 hour job that took 15 minutes is an art and a skill on which the mechanic profession is built upon. You are not the fryer. When you are able to look  into somebody's eyes and say, 'That tire was heavy, that is an extra 200nis,' you have won the game.
You will advance that much quicker in Aliyah process and acclimating to the Middle East way of life, as you learn how to rip off people that trust you. Reminds me of a beautiful song, ‘That’s What Friends Are For.’

Or you can scratch all of this, hold onto your values about caring for other people, and go back to America. When I say America, I mean any country where all is easy and the system of employment is simple and set and boring, as long as you pay $300,000 for an education. A country where parents expect you to leave the home and do 'something' with your life. Something means a job. I am obviously not talking to anybody from a third world country; meaning any country other than the US and Britain. That is just the way it is in the Middle East and we pray that value system in the workplace will come of age. We pray for that time when the American customer service makes it to Israel and they give us shoes for free. However, till then, try to keep your head held hi, as you lose all of your money to your mechanic.
You want to keep your work ethic alive. Well, be the only one and Gd willing, we will join you. You will be the one to bring the win-win to Israel. And hopefully, you will also stop them from playing Matkot, so that I can walk down the beach without getting hit by a ball. The only catch is that you have to get a real job here to make that happen. That is why you need to score your Protexyah. The only way to do that is to make friends with all those mechanics you work with. Next thing you know, you met the guy’s brother, whose name is Guy, and you are scoring free falafel balls while they are spreading your Chumus. And now you are on the front of the line, without even waiting. And you won't have to do anything. That is when you know you have made it in the Israeli work force. It is not about living in a mansion, it is about free snacks. Protexyah my Ach Sheli.

Lesson:

-Learn to do physical labor, so that you can tell other people it is hard and charge a lot.

JOBS: Smuggling is the Profit

'Kept SuperYads in Business'
(SuperYad is the business of a supermarket bag carrier I started, which turned into gifts)

The hardest part of running any successful business in Israel is knowing how to smuggle.
Smuggling your product into Israel is not easy. Many people have been caught with Marshmallow Fluff. For success, you must be able to smuggle your products past the tax authorities.
Once you take your bags off the carousel, you have to try to real quickly . Do not look at the customs staff. If you say 'Shalom' to them, you are risking confiscation of your stock. Greeting people in Israel is very suspect. This technique of the 'no look' can also be used in the Arab shuk- to ward off people calling you their friend, the Jewish shuk- allowing you to take sunflower seeds and rugulach with no pay, and walking anywhere and bumping into people without saying 'Excuse me.' People do not like initiating interaction with people. Same with customs. If you force them to say 'hello,' they will hold that grudge and check your bags.
The smuggling operation of US items made in China must be done by fitting all products into your bag. Nothing goes on carry on, as you do not want the extra weight to carry with you on the flight. You must fit all items into a 29 inch bag, without going over 50 lbs. That is what made the SuperYad business hard to run. The Superyads were too bulky, limiting me to an import of 100 items a run. Even worse, it hurt my ability to smuggle in the electronics.
Be sure to use whatever non-Israeli look you can. I use a baseball hat, as that looks American. Even so, there is still a chance of getting caught as an American, as that is where the products come from. Best to look European. No Dutch person has ever been caught for smuggling. If you can get a pair of clogs, walk through customs with the wooden shoes.
Every Oleh to Israel has had practice smuggling in electronics and whiskey. If you have two or more laptops, you have already had some practice. So don't think you do not have what it takes to be an entrepreneur in Israel.

To run the business right, you have to delegate the workload. Your main importers are family, close friends and friends of family visiting Israel. Pushing your product over the boarder in small shifts. This way each person can say, ‘I am bringing it for personal use.’
For this to work legally, you must have people who are willing to expand on the truth. ‘I am bringing it for myself, to give to David, to sell to other people, so that he will make money- which will make me happy.’ See, thus they are bringing it into Israel for their own use, and not for business. If they can, taping the products to the body also works well.
Starting a good smuggling ring in your American community is very easy. Most people are already used to bringing gifts. Thus, you tell your family to have them bring these gifts for you, to sell. They are already not telling the tax authorities that they are bringing gifts, as gifts are illegal to bring in too. At least it feels illegal to bring gifts when the security check asks you, 'Are you bringing gifts?' The way ask, puts the average tourist on edge; thus, accustoming them to saying they are not bringing any gifts.
I do not think that there has ever been a visitor to Israel with a gift, or an American product that they did not buy in Israel. My mother has grandchildren in Israel. For years, she has never brought them any gifts from America. But she has brought a lot of Teletubbies and Pokemon dolls for herself to use when she visits.
I have never met anybody who bought and iPad in Israel. Yet, nobody ever purchased an iPad outside of Israel. This is why we are the Holy Land. Miracles occur.
Smuggling the extra liter of alcohol is hard enough. SuperYad trafficking is a whole different league of hard. As, there is no use for your trafficking and it is very hard to find storage in your house. You could go the route of shipping them in. However, after you have paid the 500% tax and you have sold nothing, you start to realize that there is no point in your business. So, be sure you are smuggling in useful items, and not an idea for a business that I suggested to you. That is almost as bad as my giving you a stock tip.

I did get lucky recently and after seven years of storing the stuff in my room, I met a guy who also sells pointless stuff, like microwave plates. He sells this pointless stuff for a lot of money. Now I am selling the product to him for half of what it is worth, and I am in business. So you know, it is an amazing product and all three of the people that bought it, love it. It is the only conversation I have with them, whenever I pass them in a store or on the streets of Jerusalem. They make it a point to tell me, ‘I love that product…I forgot it at home again…when I used it that time I didn’t forget it, I loved it…I am thinking of getting my sister a granny-cart too.’
I was never involved in the granny-cart business, but I do hope they are enjoying the cart on wheels. I personally wouldn't pay that much for a cart. I recently purchased one from the supermarket, for 5nis. I put the 5 shekel into the cart and took it home too.
Point is, I am almost out of gifts, and now I am going to have to start smuggling in challah covers.

Lessons:
-Smuggle if you want to make money.
-Always carry an extra duffle when traveling to America.
-Dress European, to get past the tax authorities. Stuff in Europe is so expensive that nobody would smuggle from there. Lack of deodorant might also have them thinking you are from Israel, and then they might check your bags.
-Do not take any business advice from David.