Get
Somebody Who Speaks English to Represent Israel in English Speaking Countries
We look like
idiots in the global news market.
Problem:
A whole
country of new immigrants and Nefesh BNefesh and we have the only two people
representing us, that do not speak English. They go around the Knesset looking
for people to represent us and argue our side and some convincing Israeli from
the Green Leaf Survivor Shas Housing Price Meretz Party member gets up, ‘I
speak Anglish.’ They know a job is coming their way.
Somebody has
got to be there saying, ‘This good. He speaky Anglish. We go representie
Israeli news peopolee.’
Anglish is
not a language. Nor is Peopolee a word. And adding an ‘ee’ sound to everything is
not a way to bridge English and Hebrew.
There is no
reason we should be losing the global vote right now.
The Arabs
look brilliant, because they have English speakers representing them. They show
up on the news, ‘What we have is called a human shield.’ The guy is eating it
up, ‘Please explain it to our viewing audience.’ Any Arab is right at home at CNN, ‘What we do
is take civilians and line them up in front of us...’ The anchor is enamored,
‘Sounds like a great plan. So you take little kids and put them in front of the
soldiers? Hence Israelis look like idiots. It is a community event.’ Then the representative
explains, ‘We make sure they are mature enough to make their own decisions. At
least three. If they have parental guidance, then it may be younger.’
Arabs have such
world opinion, to the point where anything that is not pro-Israel works. I even
heard one explaining, ‘Our new thing is that we run over people. We do not use
any weapons, just cars.’ The news guy is taking it in, ‘This sounds like a
great plan. And then the Israelis use aggression. They check the drivers. It is
Israel’s fault.’ ‘The aggressors even arrested somebody.
The word
aggression gets thrown out there, and everybody eats it up. ‘The aggressors
don’t let us drive anymore.’ Our delegates don’t even understand what the word
‘aggression’ means. I don’t think anybody knows what the word aggression means.
Aggression sounds so good when people from the Middle East say it. It just
roles off the tongue.
From what I
have gathered recently, it means Israeli. It is synonymous with Israel. It
might be another word for cactus.
Then I see
us on the news. We sound like idiots. We don’t even need an antagonist. I have
seen it. I hear the Israeli ambassador out there, ‘Ehhhhhh.’ The anchor is
baffled, ‘Sir. You cannot create your own static.’ The Israeli guy is all sure
of himself, ‘Chipssim. We fries. Electonica.’ What is electronica? The people
at CNN and BBC are in shock, ‘Israel is French fries? I thought Jews were
supposed to be smart. Are these the same Jews that live in America and Europe?...We
shouldn’t be blaming the Jews. It is these people. We have information that
Israel is killing babies.’ This cocky Hebrew speaker interjects, ‘No. We don’t
kill baby. We kill everybody. These OK.’
‘Sir, Do you
speak English.’ ‘Yeth, I speaky Anglish.’
‘Tunnolly.’ ‘You
eat Italian food in Israel?’
Aside from
using baby to mean plural, and Anglish being the language he speaky, this is
messed up representationy of our peoplee.
Solution I
propose:
-Go to
Rechavia. Knock on any door. You will find an English speaker. Ask them to represent
the country.
-Do not have
Americans representing Israel. They make us look even worse. If they are not
self-hating Jews, if you can find one, do not allow them to do what they call ‘Israel
Advocacy.’ They start talking and anti-Semitism is perpetuated. Once they start
with their whole support for Israel, anti-boycott stuff, it is fodder. They get
going, ‘Boycott Israel and don’t use your computer. We make the chips…And don’t
read your newspapers, we run those too…And don’t use your banks, we own those
as well…Don’t know if you have read the literature. We are also running the
airlines. So…’
Another
anti-Semite is born. I can tell you that the one place we run that stuff is in
Israel. And we don’t run it well.
If you want
to stop spreading anti-Semitism, have me out there as the attaché, letting them
know: ‘We do not have the capability to run airlines. No Jew is a pilot, unless
they are assimilated. We cannot run banks. Look at Israel, you can see that
Jews are not that good with money. And boycott Israel, it makes no difference.
We are getting all of our stuff from China anyways. They make the chipsim toys…You
heard our guy talk. You think we are writing well enough to be running the
newspapers?’ That is Hasbara (Israel Advocacy) my friends.
-Have the
Israeli delegate nod. No talking. Just nodding. This way, at least the world
will think we have a disability, and we will get the sympathy vote back on our
side.
-Only
interview on Fox News. Finally, a news agency that supports Israel. Leave the
Israel Advocacy to people who are not Jewish. They know how to make the worst
sounding Anglish, sound like something positive for Israel. ‘So you were
protecting your citizens and they put their civilians in the way…and they are using
their cars as weapons now?’
Thank you
for leading the delegate sir. He is ready to answer, ‘Yesie.’ One word and Israel’s
representative still sounds like an idiot. Nod. Just nod.
No comments:
Post a Comment