Do not worry, we are not too far away from hotels. There are hotels all around Rechavia. You will be able to find a bathroom there.
Talbiyah- The Hebrew name, Komemiyut, never took off, because then the Arabs would not claim it. Jews do not write 'Jesus Hilfe' on their homes, above their doorway. Nor do Americans. I do not know why they are transliterating German.
Who, with money, would ever move to a neighborhood called Komemiyut?
The Jerusalem Theater- I hope we are still in Rechavia. It might be Talbiyah. But it is still Rechavia. It is easier to remember this half of Jerusalem as Rechavia. That is how Americans and French know it, and that is how I know it. Changing the names every five blocks is too confusing for me. And then there are the Arabic names, which I cannot even read. Print should not be that complicated.
This unique Jerusalem theater has plays and concerts. What makes this Jerusalem based theater special is that they do not produce shows with local Jerusalem performers.
Outside the theater, you will notice barricades placed in a form. That is symbolic.
Lets walk up Marcus street. No, they could not build it on any more of an angle. They tried.
Salameh's house is right there. He was not Jewish. He was Lebanese, but he found a good deal after WWI, so he purchased a lot of the land from the Greek Patriarchate (meaning Patriarchates from Greece). And thus the phrase, 'Middle Eastern people are cheap.' It is not just Jewish to want a good deal. It is Middle Eastern.
It was called Talbiyah. From the name, Taliban. Meaning, this is mine because I was against your country in the war. He leased his home to the Belgian Consulate, who then said, 'This land is ours.'
Israel purchased the home, after 1948.
Look in front of you and you will see Salameh Square. Now it is known as Wingate Square, because Orde Wingate did not want Jews to die. Wingate, as the only British person who cared about innocent Jews and their right to live in Israel, trained Jewish soldiers to protect themselves in Israel. That is what happens when a country is established, they give the names to people that supported them. And then they take away the names of people who wanted them to die.
Yes. It is a square. It is really a circle. I understand it is confusing. It is a really a traffic circle.
Good question. Does Israel have the right to change the name of the square? If that person would have rather you died, then there is argument for changing the plaque.
This is the end of Marcus street and you see another consulate building, which the Arabs are not protesting, and that is owned by the church.
David Marcus (known as Mickey Marcus) volunteered to help Israel in the War of Independence, as he was not a religious (frum) Jew. The most famous Machal soldier (volunteers from outside Israel), Mickey was shot by friendly fire. Since that time, all Machal soldiers have been kept in tanks. If not in a tank, you may also find Machal soldier on clean-up duty.
Nowadays, they are not giving away streets anymore. Sorry that you wasted all of your money on that wood camel.
Another good question. No. You were not supporting Israel. You were encouraging fraud.
But you still did spend money. If you support Israel enough, the JNF may plant you a tree.
Put down your cameras. That is not the French fountain over there. That is an Ars peeing on the sidewalk.
Here you can see the famous Tabiyah Rose Garden, of Talbiyah, which is the size of my parent's backyard in America. One person at a time. Do not enter two at a time. That is why there is a gate.
Other institutions housed in Talbiyah. Rechavia- Sorry: The President's house, where the president does not live. This home is a replica of a never renovated house. What does the President of Israel do? Good Question. We are moving. We are moving.
The Van Leer Institute, which was established in 1959, right next to the President's house. In its commitment to consistency, in its 55 some-odd years of its existence it has never had a person enter its doors. You will also see the original driveway pavement at the entrance, as no car has ever made its way into it. It was established by the Van Leer family, who is- contrary to popular belief- not from America.
The goal of the institution is to create ethnic understanding and to ease religious tension. As the studies have shown, the best way to make for peace is to have no interaction whatsoever. As such, the Van Leer Institute hosts weekly conferences where nobody shows up. As has been reported; there has never been a fight between nations, at the institute.
Yes. I repeat. Never seen anybody go into the place. Since my Aliyah, never seen a soul.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: Rechavia & More Areas they allow Americans
Rechavia is the area of Jerusalem that is not Gilo. It runs from Baka to Nachlaot. There are many areas between, which the unknowledgeable Israeli citizen knows as Katamon or Talbiyah. But it is really Rechavia.
You are a tourist. Unlike the Israelis who live in Israel, you can afford a home here. To make a down-payment, on your next trip, do not pay for a hotel room for a couple of nights. If you don't pay the tour guide, you will be able to go for a straight purchase.
The difference between Rechavia and Gilo can be seen by the lack of English being spoken once Gilo begins. That is how you separate the areas.
We are walking through a neighborhood right now. These are homes, even though they are apartments. They are still homes, even though you can hear your neighbor chewing. Some of the homes were built as long ago as 50 years. People live here. You will even notice, some people park their cars in this area. Chances are they live in America or France.
Due to the population of Rechavia home owners, you can always go for a leisurely walk and not have to worry about running into a neighbor.
For a real experience, go into somebody’s home and ask them to show you the nicest thing. They will show you their view. The 'merpeset' is the porch, from where you have ‘the view.’ This is what you will see from people’s homes.
In many other countries, people take you into their home to show you their collectibles, living-room set-up and their library. Here, the Israelis skip all of that, take you into their home to show you the other homes that are not theirs. In your country, you might know people who sit on their porch and look at the 'view' as peeping Toms. In Israel, Tom is accepted, whoever he is. In Israel, it is OK to look and say nothing. You also don't have to wave, when showing your guests the inside of your neighbor's home.
Showing the view to guests is a way to show that you are not the only one with an unfurnished house.
When your house is real ugly, this is what you show people. Usually the view from the merpeset is where you can see your neighbors’ underwear.
Lets go into my home. Let us have the experience. We are in my home right now. From here, you can see a view. You see? I have neighbors.
That person, hanging their laundry and undergarments out their window? That is because they do not want people peeping into their home. It is quite ridiculous. The neighbors have signed a petition and brought it to the municipality, due to the rudeness of that family. A new law is being passed that there should be no barrier stopping neighbors from having a 'view' and looking inside the homes across the way.
No. They do not having drying machines in Israel. How does it dry? Very good question. You wait till May.
The main goal of the view, also known in Hebrew as 'nof,' is to be able to see the Knesset. If you cannot see the Knesset, you have not made a good investment. Fifty percent of the Jerusalem people have a view of the Knesset. Anybody that takes pride in a view of the Knesset is a Jerusalemite, who is not living in the Meah Shearim area. If your home does not have a view of the Knesset, you have nothing to talk about.
I have a view of the Knesset. You see it? Over there. It is the...If you squint, you can see part of a square building behind trees. They might even have a view of the Knesset from their house too. I have never seen their view. I have only seen into their home.
And that is how you know I don't live in my neighbor's house.
We are passing under somebody's Merpesset right now. Watch the water pouring down, right on us.
That is a good question? Yes. They have been waiting for us to pass under their porch, so they can hit us. It is Jerusalem tradition to clean water onto random passerbys. Why? So that you can mess up their day.
Kikar Tzarfat- French Square is located at the entrance to the Rechavia area, has a fountain donated by France, when there is water. Otherwise, this statue stands 10 feet tall. This statue represents water coming out of faces in a fountain. France is also known for giving America the Statue of Liberty. As France feels Israel is also important, this statues stands a good three and half meters from the ground. There is no stairwell in it. However, in its unique way, like the Statue of Liberty, this Statue of Face also has metal that turned green.
Gan Hapamon- Liberty Bell Park. Unlike Independence Park, 10 minutes walk up the hill, people use this park.
America had another cracked bell. Instead of fixing it, they gave it to Israel. Apparently, the Liberty Bell was donated by Pennsylvania. They had another broken bell and they wanted to get rid of it.
Across from Liberty Bell Park (Gan HaPamon) is Blumfield Park. These beautiful parks host a wide range of children activities, such as stolen wallets.
The fountain with the lion in it? I have no idea either. Is it a fountain if there is no water? Or is it a statue? Sometimes you can see children peeing in it. You can see the Lion Statue. A German chancellor gave this one. I know your tour book says it is a fountain, but there is no water. There is a European tradition to donate fountains to Israel, which have no running water. I believe the Israeli public would appreciate the gift of water more.
Montefiore had a wagon. That is over there. It ran a windmill. Thus, you will notice the wagon still under the mill.
And we are moving.
You saw the view? Excellent. And nobody even lives here.
You are a tourist. Unlike the Israelis who live in Israel, you can afford a home here. To make a down-payment, on your next trip, do not pay for a hotel room for a couple of nights. If you don't pay the tour guide, you will be able to go for a straight purchase.
The difference between Rechavia and Gilo can be seen by the lack of English being spoken once Gilo begins. That is how you separate the areas.
We are walking through a neighborhood right now. These are homes, even though they are apartments. They are still homes, even though you can hear your neighbor chewing. Some of the homes were built as long ago as 50 years. People live here. You will even notice, some people park their cars in this area. Chances are they live in America or France.
Due to the population of Rechavia home owners, you can always go for a leisurely walk and not have to worry about running into a neighbor.
For a real experience, go into somebody’s home and ask them to show you the nicest thing. They will show you their view. The 'merpeset' is the porch, from where you have ‘the view.’ This is what you will see from people’s homes.
In many other countries, people take you into their home to show you their collectibles, living-room set-up and their library. Here, the Israelis skip all of that, take you into their home to show you the other homes that are not theirs. In your country, you might know people who sit on their porch and look at the 'view' as peeping Toms. In Israel, Tom is accepted, whoever he is. In Israel, it is OK to look and say nothing. You also don't have to wave, when showing your guests the inside of your neighbor's home.
Showing the view to guests is a way to show that you are not the only one with an unfurnished house.
When your house is real ugly, this is what you show people. Usually the view from the merpeset is where you can see your neighbors’ underwear.
Lets go into my home. Let us have the experience. We are in my home right now. From here, you can see a view. You see? I have neighbors.
That person, hanging their laundry and undergarments out their window? That is because they do not want people peeping into their home. It is quite ridiculous. The neighbors have signed a petition and brought it to the municipality, due to the rudeness of that family. A new law is being passed that there should be no barrier stopping neighbors from having a 'view' and looking inside the homes across the way.
No. They do not having drying machines in Israel. How does it dry? Very good question. You wait till May.
The main goal of the view, also known in Hebrew as 'nof,' is to be able to see the Knesset. If you cannot see the Knesset, you have not made a good investment. Fifty percent of the Jerusalem people have a view of the Knesset. Anybody that takes pride in a view of the Knesset is a Jerusalemite, who is not living in the Meah Shearim area. If your home does not have a view of the Knesset, you have nothing to talk about.
I have a view of the Knesset. You see it? Over there. It is the...If you squint, you can see part of a square building behind trees. They might even have a view of the Knesset from their house too. I have never seen their view. I have only seen into their home.
And that is how you know I don't live in my neighbor's house.
We are passing under somebody's Merpesset right now. Watch the water pouring down, right on us.
That is a good question? Yes. They have been waiting for us to pass under their porch, so they can hit us. It is Jerusalem tradition to clean water onto random passerbys. Why? So that you can mess up their day.
Kikar Tzarfat- French Square is located at the entrance to the Rechavia area, has a fountain donated by France, when there is water. Otherwise, this statue stands 10 feet tall. This statue represents water coming out of faces in a fountain. France is also known for giving America the Statue of Liberty. As France feels Israel is also important, this statues stands a good three and half meters from the ground. There is no stairwell in it. However, in its unique way, like the Statue of Liberty, this Statue of Face also has metal that turned green.
Gan Hapamon- Liberty Bell Park. Unlike Independence Park, 10 minutes walk up the hill, people use this park.
America had another cracked bell. Instead of fixing it, they gave it to Israel. Apparently, the Liberty Bell was donated by Pennsylvania. They had another broken bell and they wanted to get rid of it.
Across from Liberty Bell Park (Gan HaPamon) is Blumfield Park. These beautiful parks host a wide range of children activities, such as stolen wallets.
The fountain with the lion in it? I have no idea either. Is it a fountain if there is no water? Or is it a statue? Sometimes you can see children peeing in it. You can see the Lion Statue. A German chancellor gave this one. I know your tour book says it is a fountain, but there is no water. There is a European tradition to donate fountains to Israel, which have no running water. I believe the Israeli public would appreciate the gift of water more.
Montefiore had a wagon. That is over there. It ran a windmill. Thus, you will notice the wagon still under the mill.
And we are moving.
You saw the view? Excellent. And nobody even lives here.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: The Hotels By The Old City
We are now in the inner circle of English Speaking Jerusalem People with Money. This will include Baka and Rechavia. But for now, let us move into the hotels. The only area you should know of.
This is the most important area for you to know as a tourist. These are here so that you do not have to make your bed. As the Bedouin tents we stayed in, none of the locals come to this area. You do not have to worry, you will not have to interact with any Israelis that you do not have to tip.
When you wake up, in most North wings of the hotel, you make your way south, to the elevator, to the first floor. You then turn left out of the elevator and you can see the Buffet. Finding your way around the buffet can be quite difficult. That is why I am here.
Do not miss your breakfast buffet, you only have five hours. You will notice fruit salad and cake, all cut by Israelis. You will also notice cereal and cheeses, all from Israel. Kellogg's is an Israeli brand. This buffet is quite historic, as you will notice the Caesar Salad. The Caesar ate breakfast too. That is history. Maybe social studies.
I only take $400 a day to show you around these areas of the breakfast. As I do when showing you around the ancient falafel stands of Jerusalem, which you are also required to pay for.
We have just wasted half the day. We will not be able to go on the trip today. We will just walk around the neighborhood.
You will notice soap, shampoo and televisions in your room. You still may have not covered the full cost of your hotel stay with the breakfast spread. As many of you filled up in the second hour of seating, you might want to take what you can. I have noticed the televisions are not bolted in.
We are spending $700 a night on this experience. We should not have traveled during the holiday season. This is a very expensive youth hostel we are staying in.
We are now going to see the most historic Jerusalem hotel of this century. This is not to compare with the ancient bed and breakfast that Batsheva hoste across the way from David's castle.
The King David Hotel- No, he did not live here. I do not believe he lived at the David Citadel or in King David's Village either. It does get confusing. The King David Hotel is also known as the فندق الملك داود in Arabic, as they change the names to everything.
The hotel was founded in the early 1930s by Ezra Messeri, a wealthy Jewish banker from Egypt, to dispel the myth that there are no wealthy Jews in Egypt, who are bankers. Today, the hotel is owned by the Dan hotels chain, which means that you can get Yarmulkes with 'Dan' written on it. If your name is Dan, you will never need anybody making you a kippah, or a girlfriend. Around the corner, is another Dan hotel, but we will remain at the King David till they kick us out, as it is described in the Exodus book.
Made to have a view of the Old City, you can see how other buildings that were built later also thought that was a nice view to have. From the lounge, you can now see the King David swimming pool.
Many presidents and royalty stay here. They are the reason the city gets shut down once or twice a year. Traffic is barricaded so that somebody of importance to another country, who would like to own Jerusalem, can see the Israel Museum. And so that the Jerusalem residents cannot go to work and see their clients, while spending the day complaining and fighting with cops, and arguing with the police about where they live.
As elegant as it is, do not use the bathrooms in the King David Hotel, as there have been issues with toilets in the past.
The King David theme is connected to the area. Part of King David Street, the King David Hotel is in a densely populated hotel area. Looping around to Agron you can also see the new Waldorf Astoria,which looks nothing like the Waldorf Astoria.
You will notice somebody tipping the guy who opened up the door. It is not customary to say 'thank you,' as gratitude may only be shown through money. Tips are expected, as the staff is not getting paid enough by the $1,200 a night hotel low-season rates, and thus they need charity. These low level beggars also help out with room service.
Across the road here, you can see the YMCA. In Jerusalem, this hotel and center of sports and activity is known as the IMCA, because IMCA does not sound Christian.
Greatly frequented by Jews, the YMCA is a beacon for decent gym membership prices.
Built in the 1930s, and finished after seven years of construction and political building freezes, Dr. Harte finally saw his vision come to fruition. Dedicated to the words, 'Here is a spot whose atmosphere is peace, where political and religious jealousies can be forgotten and international unity be fostered and developed,' it was thusly named the Young Men's Christian Association. Keeping with the concept of peace and forgotten religious strife, right near its front doors have been countless terror attacks.
The rest of the hotels have breakfast too.
I am trying to focus on the important information here. Such as the Bible stuff.
Look: we missed Kind David's Village, the Citadel Hotel, the Eldan Hotel which is a motel, other buildings, Beit Shmuel, HUC, the King Solomon Hotel, which King Solomon did not stay at, because the rooms were too small, Conservative Yeshiva, a good 300 Orthodox Yeshivas, other places of study, which bring in no business to Jerusalem, a parking lot, more construction, a big ball with water running over it, a sundial.
If there are any more complaints about the tour not covering that guy selling silver, across the road, I will charge an extra $400. And you will still have to pay for my dinner.
This is the most important area for you to know as a tourist. These are here so that you do not have to make your bed. As the Bedouin tents we stayed in, none of the locals come to this area. You do not have to worry, you will not have to interact with any Israelis that you do not have to tip.
When you wake up, in most North wings of the hotel, you make your way south, to the elevator, to the first floor. You then turn left out of the elevator and you can see the Buffet. Finding your way around the buffet can be quite difficult. That is why I am here.
Do not miss your breakfast buffet, you only have five hours. You will notice fruit salad and cake, all cut by Israelis. You will also notice cereal and cheeses, all from Israel. Kellogg's is an Israeli brand. This buffet is quite historic, as you will notice the Caesar Salad. The Caesar ate breakfast too. That is history. Maybe social studies.
I only take $400 a day to show you around these areas of the breakfast. As I do when showing you around the ancient falafel stands of Jerusalem, which you are also required to pay for.
We have just wasted half the day. We will not be able to go on the trip today. We will just walk around the neighborhood.
You will notice soap, shampoo and televisions in your room. You still may have not covered the full cost of your hotel stay with the breakfast spread. As many of you filled up in the second hour of seating, you might want to take what you can. I have noticed the televisions are not bolted in.
We are spending $700 a night on this experience. We should not have traveled during the holiday season. This is a very expensive youth hostel we are staying in.
We are now going to see the most historic Jerusalem hotel of this century. This is not to compare with the ancient bed and breakfast that Batsheva hoste across the way from David's castle.
The King David Hotel- No, he did not live here. I do not believe he lived at the David Citadel or in King David's Village either. It does get confusing. The King David Hotel is also known as the فندق الملك داود in Arabic, as they change the names to everything.
The hotel was founded in the early 1930s by Ezra Messeri, a wealthy Jewish banker from Egypt, to dispel the myth that there are no wealthy Jews in Egypt, who are bankers. Today, the hotel is owned by the Dan hotels chain, which means that you can get Yarmulkes with 'Dan' written on it. If your name is Dan, you will never need anybody making you a kippah, or a girlfriend. Around the corner, is another Dan hotel, but we will remain at the King David till they kick us out, as it is described in the Exodus book.
Made to have a view of the Old City, you can see how other buildings that were built later also thought that was a nice view to have. From the lounge, you can now see the King David swimming pool.
Many presidents and royalty stay here. They are the reason the city gets shut down once or twice a year. Traffic is barricaded so that somebody of importance to another country, who would like to own Jerusalem, can see the Israel Museum. And so that the Jerusalem residents cannot go to work and see their clients, while spending the day complaining and fighting with cops, and arguing with the police about where they live.
As elegant as it is, do not use the bathrooms in the King David Hotel, as there have been issues with toilets in the past.
The King David theme is connected to the area. Part of King David Street, the King David Hotel is in a densely populated hotel area. Looping around to Agron you can also see the new Waldorf Astoria,which looks nothing like the Waldorf Astoria.
You will notice somebody tipping the guy who opened up the door. It is not customary to say 'thank you,' as gratitude may only be shown through money. Tips are expected, as the staff is not getting paid enough by the $1,200 a night hotel low-season rates, and thus they need charity. These low level beggars also help out with room service.
Across the road here, you can see the YMCA. In Jerusalem, this hotel and center of sports and activity is known as the IMCA, because IMCA does not sound Christian.
Greatly frequented by Jews, the YMCA is a beacon for decent gym membership prices.
Built in the 1930s, and finished after seven years of construction and political building freezes, Dr. Harte finally saw his vision come to fruition. Dedicated to the words, 'Here is a spot whose atmosphere is peace, where political and religious jealousies can be forgotten and international unity be fostered and developed,' it was thusly named the Young Men's Christian Association. Keeping with the concept of peace and forgotten religious strife, right near its front doors have been countless terror attacks.
The rest of the hotels have breakfast too.
I am trying to focus on the important information here. Such as the Bible stuff.
Look: we missed Kind David's Village, the Citadel Hotel, the Eldan Hotel which is a motel, other buildings, Beit Shmuel, HUC, the King Solomon Hotel, which King Solomon did not stay at, because the rooms were too small, Conservative Yeshiva, a good 300 Orthodox Yeshivas, other places of study, which bring in no business to Jerusalem, a parking lot, more construction, a big ball with water running over it, a sundial.
If there are any more complaints about the tour not covering that guy selling silver, across the road, I will charge an extra $400. And you will still have to pay for my dinner.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: Malkah Area
Stadium, Mall & Zoo
Teddy Stadium- Named after Teddy Kollek, one of Jerusalem’s mayors. That is a bad pun- Teddy Stadium and Teddy Kollek. Even Teddy Kollek High School, in Pisgat Ze’ev, is not called the Teddy Kollek school, but rather the Pisgat Ze’ev School. It is just a bad pun and not very funny.
Located here, because the homes that he forced people out of in Mamila did not make for a big enough space for a stadium, even if they got rid of the street.
If you look in the stadium, you will find many years of sunflower seed shells. This shrine of sunflower seeds is also known as the largest site at Mini Israel, behind CocaCola, who funded it. Teddy is host to many football matches and even concerts by frum Jews who have been put in Chairim/excommunication, such as Shweky. You will notice no seats, behind the goal post, as it is pointless to sit there, when Beitar Jerusalem has not scored a goal in months.
Beitar football games. Football is also known as soccer in countries that don’t know how to play it. This is the perfect place to eat sunflower seeds. The greatest part of the football match is that you don’t have to throw out your trash. You are allowed to just drop it. If you are really lucky, you might be able to witness fireworks, shot at you, by the opposing team. You might even be able to witness many felons running free and shouting in one enclosed area.
There will be a crazy guy. Enjoy him. He is not harmful. He is a fan and he is shooting fireworks.
Now with the new highway and sports complex running through Teddy Stadium, the Malkah Mall area is a great destination to take pictures of Israeli traffic.
Malkah Mall- Named the Malkah Mall, because it is in the Malkah neighborhood, and that is a reason for a name. They were thinking of calling it the Baka mall, but Baka is somewhere else.
Tour guides generally use the Malkah mall to show tourists how Jerusalemites shop. Jerusalemites shop by purchasing stuff. This is generally seen when the tour guide says, ‘We are now in the mall, I will see you in two hours…’
You can also find an ancient Ark, from Manatova, Italy, housed in the mall. The ark is made of a gold leaf finish, and is the center of a small synagogue, right next to the tights and bikini shop. The most beautiful ark. It is not for sale. Nonetheless, many Jerusalemites migrate to this synagogue to pray for good deals. As the religious belief goes: The intention of bargaining is more important than the bargaining itself.
There was a movie theater. However now there is an H&M, as you cannot steal H&M off the internet.
The theater was created in 1993. Adding to its unfortunate demise was the concept of the ‘Hafsaka’- break, in which they would take a break from the movie, and keep it rolling as they stopped showing it, for a few minutes in the middle of the scene. They were going to stop with the Hafsakas at Israeli movies, but they realized that without the Hafsaka, the smell of smoke would not make into the theaters. The Hafsaka was created, as the Israeli bladder has shrunk over the years. You will also notice the many people peeing on the sides of the roads, and the lack of public toilets.
You will notice the lady standing right there, smoking, under the no-smoking sign.
You have two hours to do what you want. I am getting paid.
As you went through the mall, I hope you noticed the unique Jerusalem configuration of stores and a food court.
What makes it unique? Good question. What makes it unique is that the building is made out of limestone.
The Biblical Zoo (Tisch Family Biblical Zoo)- Known as the Biblical Zoo because of all the Biblical animals it houses, such as penguins.
The zoo is a great educational for the children. You can teach them how animals live when they are locked up. You can show them the penguins in a desert. Sharks on dry land. In a forest. And you can also show them kangaroos, in their natural habitat of Israel. And another only Jerusalem experience of a giraffe in a second story window.
Somehow there was a house that got there. Point is that you can learn a lot. I did not know this before I went to the zoo, but when lions are in a cage, they sleep. To give the illusion that the lion is alive, for the children, there is a speaker where you can hear somebody say, 'Roar.' I have brought up the educational value with the zoo faculty, and we do hope that they will have Israelis manning the lion exhibit soon. At which point we hope they make it a more native experience, as they change it from 'roar' to 'arrrr.'
Many parents do lose their children at the Biblical Zoo, as there are taractic birds. An announcement you might hear every few minutes, 'We have a parentless kid here. She is crying...No name, just crying. If we can ask her parents to please leave the taractic bird exhibit...We understand it is quite interesting...Taractic birds watch over their offspring, until they are old enough to go out on their own.'
I have heard people say, 'She ran away.' However, a two year old does not run away from home or parents. There are many irresponsible parents in the Malkah area.
A great place for dates, the Biblical Zoo is also an awkward place to run into your friends who got married and taking their children who are too young to date, to the same spot.
The sign says 'Tisch,' as that is to note that it is a non-profit organization. I guess the Tisch family bought the zoo too. The Tisch family is doing very well.
Teddy Stadium- Named after Teddy Kollek, one of Jerusalem’s mayors. That is a bad pun- Teddy Stadium and Teddy Kollek. Even Teddy Kollek High School, in Pisgat Ze’ev, is not called the Teddy Kollek school, but rather the Pisgat Ze’ev School. It is just a bad pun and not very funny.
Located here, because the homes that he forced people out of in Mamila did not make for a big enough space for a stadium, even if they got rid of the street.
If you look in the stadium, you will find many years of sunflower seed shells. This shrine of sunflower seeds is also known as the largest site at Mini Israel, behind CocaCola, who funded it. Teddy is host to many football matches and even concerts by frum Jews who have been put in Chairim/excommunication, such as Shweky. You will notice no seats, behind the goal post, as it is pointless to sit there, when Beitar Jerusalem has not scored a goal in months.
Beitar football games. Football is also known as soccer in countries that don’t know how to play it. This is the perfect place to eat sunflower seeds. The greatest part of the football match is that you don’t have to throw out your trash. You are allowed to just drop it. If you are really lucky, you might be able to witness fireworks, shot at you, by the opposing team. You might even be able to witness many felons running free and shouting in one enclosed area.
There will be a crazy guy. Enjoy him. He is not harmful. He is a fan and he is shooting fireworks.
Now with the new highway and sports complex running through Teddy Stadium, the Malkah Mall area is a great destination to take pictures of Israeli traffic.
Malkah Mall- Named the Malkah Mall, because it is in the Malkah neighborhood, and that is a reason for a name. They were thinking of calling it the Baka mall, but Baka is somewhere else.
Tour guides generally use the Malkah mall to show tourists how Jerusalemites shop. Jerusalemites shop by purchasing stuff. This is generally seen when the tour guide says, ‘We are now in the mall, I will see you in two hours…’
You can also find an ancient Ark, from Manatova, Italy, housed in the mall. The ark is made of a gold leaf finish, and is the center of a small synagogue, right next to the tights and bikini shop. The most beautiful ark. It is not for sale. Nonetheless, many Jerusalemites migrate to this synagogue to pray for good deals. As the religious belief goes: The intention of bargaining is more important than the bargaining itself.
There was a movie theater. However now there is an H&M, as you cannot steal H&M off the internet.
The theater was created in 1993. Adding to its unfortunate demise was the concept of the ‘Hafsaka’- break, in which they would take a break from the movie, and keep it rolling as they stopped showing it, for a few minutes in the middle of the scene. They were going to stop with the Hafsakas at Israeli movies, but they realized that without the Hafsaka, the smell of smoke would not make into the theaters. The Hafsaka was created, as the Israeli bladder has shrunk over the years. You will also notice the many people peeing on the sides of the roads, and the lack of public toilets.
You will notice the lady standing right there, smoking, under the no-smoking sign.
You have two hours to do what you want. I am getting paid.
As you went through the mall, I hope you noticed the unique Jerusalem configuration of stores and a food court.
What makes it unique? Good question. What makes it unique is that the building is made out of limestone.
The Biblical Zoo (Tisch Family Biblical Zoo)- Known as the Biblical Zoo because of all the Biblical animals it houses, such as penguins.
The zoo is a great educational for the children. You can teach them how animals live when they are locked up. You can show them the penguins in a desert. Sharks on dry land. In a forest. And you can also show them kangaroos, in their natural habitat of Israel. And another only Jerusalem experience of a giraffe in a second story window.
Somehow there was a house that got there. Point is that you can learn a lot. I did not know this before I went to the zoo, but when lions are in a cage, they sleep. To give the illusion that the lion is alive, for the children, there is a speaker where you can hear somebody say, 'Roar.' I have brought up the educational value with the zoo faculty, and we do hope that they will have Israelis manning the lion exhibit soon. At which point we hope they make it a more native experience, as they change it from 'roar' to 'arrrr.'
Many parents do lose their children at the Biblical Zoo, as there are taractic birds. An announcement you might hear every few minutes, 'We have a parentless kid here. She is crying...No name, just crying. If we can ask her parents to please leave the taractic bird exhibit...We understand it is quite interesting...Taractic birds watch over their offspring, until they are old enough to go out on their own.'
I have heard people say, 'She ran away.' However, a two year old does not run away from home or parents. There are many irresponsible parents in the Malkah area.
A great place for dates, the Biblical Zoo is also an awkward place to run into your friends who got married and taking their children who are too young to date, to the same spot.
The sign says 'Tisch,' as that is to note that it is a non-profit organization. I guess the Tisch family bought the zoo too. The Tisch family is doing very well.
Friday, June 20, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: New Railway Station Area
Should Still Be Called Gilo
New Railway Station- You can now extend your Tel Aviv bus ride from 45 minutes to 2 hours and 45 minutes, on the train. This not efficient railroad has been built in place of the old railroad which also did not work. Keeping with tradition, there are now two pointless railways in Jerusalem.
One has now turned into a walking path to keep away charedim (ultra-orthodox), which you can witness when you enter the Baka neighborhood. Made to be a pedestrian walk, people are able to find their way to their destination much quicker than when the train was running, and without running into religious people.
The reason the train was built is that many religious people had to catch a minyan on the way to work. Being that the country could not find a single non-motorized destination for 10 men to pray together, the religious factions of Jerusalem agreed to the building of this train, even though its final destination is Tel Aviv. The agreement for the building of the train went through, as soon as it was decided that the old train station, or anywhere Barkat visits, would not be the destination.
We all love a good view, for a very long time. And for that reason, a three hour trip to Tel Aviv is beautiful. Nonetheless, the second time you use it, you start thinking that views can be caught quicker.
You can see foliage by the side of the station, in what is known as the Jerusalem Forest. The Jewish National Fund might have used your money over here to plant the shrubs, which make up the forest. And you dare to say the the Jewish National Fund does not use its money for planting trees?
Be sure to put on sunscreen when entering into the Jerusalem forest.
A full acre by acre of the bonsai looking trees is found surrounding Jerusalem. This makes up the forest which connects Gilo to Har Nof and the Jerusalem drug ring.
You can see, over here, the Sorek River, or Sorek River Monument. There was water there at some point.
The Sorek river is mentioned in the Prophets and is where Delilah lived.
Sorek comes from the word 'Rek' which means empty and defines how much water is found here.
The translation of Sorek to 'fruitless tree' can be traced to Delilah; meaning that Samson's relationship with Delilah was fruitless, as with most women. But I do not know how Wikipedia took all of that from the Midrash on Torah (homily).
In Judges 16:2, we see the story: 'And Samson went to Gaza...he loved a woman in the brook/valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her, and said to her: 'Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lies... that we may bind him to afflict him...' The whole Gaza story. Always trying to afflict the Jews coming out of Gaza.
Sorek also could mean a special vine, but nobody cares about the grapes that grow there, and nothing beats a good Samson and Delilah story.
You can see the bank of a river right to the side of the train station. There is no water. Keep on looking, you will see something that looks like a little mountain and cliff with a slope. That is a river bank. If there was water, that might be the bank of a river. You might be able to see some water if somebody presses the button on that fountain over there.
New Railway Station- You can now extend your Tel Aviv bus ride from 45 minutes to 2 hours and 45 minutes, on the train. This not efficient railroad has been built in place of the old railroad which also did not work. Keeping with tradition, there are now two pointless railways in Jerusalem.
One has now turned into a walking path to keep away charedim (ultra-orthodox), which you can witness when you enter the Baka neighborhood. Made to be a pedestrian walk, people are able to find their way to their destination much quicker than when the train was running, and without running into religious people.
The reason the train was built is that many religious people had to catch a minyan on the way to work. Being that the country could not find a single non-motorized destination for 10 men to pray together, the religious factions of Jerusalem agreed to the building of this train, even though its final destination is Tel Aviv. The agreement for the building of the train went through, as soon as it was decided that the old train station, or anywhere Barkat visits, would not be the destination.
We all love a good view, for a very long time. And for that reason, a three hour trip to Tel Aviv is beautiful. Nonetheless, the second time you use it, you start thinking that views can be caught quicker.
You can see foliage by the side of the station, in what is known as the Jerusalem Forest. The Jewish National Fund might have used your money over here to plant the shrubs, which make up the forest. And you dare to say the the Jewish National Fund does not use its money for planting trees?
Be sure to put on sunscreen when entering into the Jerusalem forest.
A full acre by acre of the bonsai looking trees is found surrounding Jerusalem. This makes up the forest which connects Gilo to Har Nof and the Jerusalem drug ring.
You can see, over here, the Sorek River, or Sorek River Monument. There was water there at some point.
The Sorek river is mentioned in the Prophets and is where Delilah lived.
Sorek comes from the word 'Rek' which means empty and defines how much water is found here.
The translation of Sorek to 'fruitless tree' can be traced to Delilah; meaning that Samson's relationship with Delilah was fruitless, as with most women. But I do not know how Wikipedia took all of that from the Midrash on Torah (homily).
In Judges 16:2, we see the story: 'And Samson went to Gaza...he loved a woman in the brook/valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her, and said to her: 'Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lies... that we may bind him to afflict him...' The whole Gaza story. Always trying to afflict the Jews coming out of Gaza.
Sorek also could mean a special vine, but nobody cares about the grapes that grow there, and nothing beats a good Samson and Delilah story.
You can see the bank of a river right to the side of the train station. There is no water. Keep on looking, you will see something that looks like a little mountain and cliff with a slope. That is a river bank. If there was water, that might be the bank of a river. You might be able to see some water if somebody presses the button on that fountain over there.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: The South Side
It is all Gilo
Lets continue back on Derech Chevron. We are stuck now, in what is known as a left turning lane, on the right side of the road. We will find a way to make this left turn, even if it means getting hit by a cab.
We are now looking at Har Choma (not pronounced Har Homa either- the ‘ch’ is supposed to help you figure out how to pronounce a ‘Chet’- even that makes no sense. It is the chaching sound you have, right before you are going to spit up. That is why I am using a ‘ch.’ It is a Hebrew thing and I will never be able to explain this on paper. Think about it not as ‘chat’ or the song lyrics ‘cha cha cha, but think back of the throat phlegm).
Har Choma is another Jerusalem neighborhood not in Jerusalem. It was built up a good fifteen years ago, and is another neighborhood where Jews are blamed for living in Israel. The Har Choma neighborhood proudly joins the Jerusalem municipality as they like to pay hi building taxes (arnona) too.
Officially known as Homat Shmuel, the hill is also known as Jabal Abu Ghneim, which is Arabic for 'we do not want you here.' Its namesake is Shmuel Meir, a Jerusalem mayor who helped build up the hill (which is ironic- Meir and mayor- I can go on all day with how funny that is). You can also find a lot of culture here, such falafel shops with טעם של פעם (the taste of yesteryear), and parents yelling at children.
It is near other ancient stuff. Elisha hid by here, because there are mountains and nobody liked going out into the desert.
There is also Greek monastery somewhere in the area. You will see that when you see a building. You might even see some synagogues, so keep your eyes open.
Har Choma was supposed to be built up in the 1980s. However, that was opposed by environmental groups who were protecting the natural resources of the desert. As Har Choma has an ancient church by it, protesters made sure the country knows how important mortar is to the natural landscape.
Gilo- We are now in Gilo.
Built in 1967, there are around eight of them. Any two buildings, built next to each other, on the south side of Jerusalem is called Gilo. It is surprising that Har Choma is not called Gilo. However, they decided not to call Har Choma Gilo, as three names was enough.
If you cannot afford a home in Jerusalem, Gilo is for you.
Gilo is a suburban neighborhood, of buildings. Built with bumps on the streets, Gilo has been designed to remind you that you should get new shocks and tires. The bumps also let you know that there might be people, somewhere. Children have a tendency to run into streets, and parents have a tendency to not care about their kids. The bumps let you know to speed up after the bump and to not to hit the children at a bump. Outside of the schools, there are also children holding stop signs, to remind you that you should stop at crosswalks and follow traffic laws.
Gilo is also famous for its summer camps for children, known as a ‘Kaytana,’ or day camp, because these poor people cannot afford to get rid of their children for the whole summer. The goal of every American parent, to not have to see their children ever, has not been mastered for the young Israeli child. However, amazing high school and post high school techniques have been developed, as can be seen with Israeli boarding schools and the army. Even with these Israeli techniques of ridding yourself of bothersomeness, the children still come home for the weekends.
Not much they can do about this, as Israel is a small country. We in Israel, have a dream too, that one day we- like American families- will also be able to show the necessary lack of care for our offspring, which makes for an enjoyable vacation. We have been catching up with America when it comes to lack of care and visitation for grandparents. Now the goal is to not have to see the next generation.
Archaeological digs have discovered ancient stuff. Even dating back as far as the First Temple, there were people in Israel.
Why are those people not standing at the bus stop? Very good question. Here is the Tremp Yada to the Gush Etzion area. Tremping meaning hitchhiking spot. It is considered much safer as the word used is Tremp. The reason they are not standing by the bus stop is because, if they took a bus, then they would have to pay.
Let us move to the next Gilo mountain. You will notice a wall with a mural showing what life would be like if Beit Jala was not right across the way.
Gilo abosorbed 15% of the Soviet Jews who moved to Jerusalem, making them a place that has the same percentage of Soviet Jews as the rest of Jerusalem.
We are now going to take a lunch break in Gilo Park, the forest over here, so that your children can get lost. The park was built, as the Jewish National Fund decided not to use the money for the trees that were purchased by the kindergartners in America. A great way to get rid of your children for a while, the residents of Gilo owe a great debt of gratitude to the JNF. As the town representatives have exclaimed, 'Thank you for siphoning the funds, JNF.'
Here, you will notice. I hope you all saw that.
Beit Safafa- An Arab village in Jerusalem, meaning 'House of the Narrow Benches,' because the Jerusalem municipality does not care how uncomfortable people are when they are waiting for buses.
People live here. An Arab village right smack in the middle of Jerusalem, it is considered a neighborhood in Jerusalem. Calling it an Arab village helps bring down the housing tax.
You can buy Jerusalem Stone here. If anybody would like to purchase some Jerusalem Stone, to show your friends overseas how limestone looks, you can pick it up right now. Yes it is heavy. Try to put it in your carry-on luggage.
To note its uniqueness, Beit Safafa is an ancient village, located in Israel.
In 1863, an explorer, explored it. This tourist said it had 30 houses. Unless you are on a boat and risking your life, you are a tourist. I would like to say, 'A person walking around, on vacation in 1863, saw some people.' I noticed that there was a whole city when I visited Copenhagen and I put in a journal that there were people on bicycles. Nonetheless, I do not claim to be an explorer.
Cars get washed here. You can see how this is a distinctively not Jewish area, as there is a lot of manual labor being done right now.
Look to your left, you will notice an animal.
You missed it.
Now let us move back into the Jerusalem that people care about.
Lets continue back on Derech Chevron. We are stuck now, in what is known as a left turning lane, on the right side of the road. We will find a way to make this left turn, even if it means getting hit by a cab.
We are now looking at Har Choma (not pronounced Har Homa either- the ‘ch’ is supposed to help you figure out how to pronounce a ‘Chet’- even that makes no sense. It is the chaching sound you have, right before you are going to spit up. That is why I am using a ‘ch.’ It is a Hebrew thing and I will never be able to explain this on paper. Think about it not as ‘chat’ or the song lyrics ‘cha cha cha, but think back of the throat phlegm).
Har Choma is another Jerusalem neighborhood not in Jerusalem. It was built up a good fifteen years ago, and is another neighborhood where Jews are blamed for living in Israel. The Har Choma neighborhood proudly joins the Jerusalem municipality as they like to pay hi building taxes (arnona) too.
Officially known as Homat Shmuel, the hill is also known as Jabal Abu Ghneim, which is Arabic for 'we do not want you here.' Its namesake is Shmuel Meir, a Jerusalem mayor who helped build up the hill (which is ironic- Meir and mayor- I can go on all day with how funny that is). You can also find a lot of culture here, such falafel shops with טעם של פעם (the taste of yesteryear), and parents yelling at children.
It is near other ancient stuff. Elisha hid by here, because there are mountains and nobody liked going out into the desert.
There is also Greek monastery somewhere in the area. You will see that when you see a building. You might even see some synagogues, so keep your eyes open.
Har Choma was supposed to be built up in the 1980s. However, that was opposed by environmental groups who were protecting the natural resources of the desert. As Har Choma has an ancient church by it, protesters made sure the country knows how important mortar is to the natural landscape.
Gilo- We are now in Gilo.
Built in 1967, there are around eight of them. Any two buildings, built next to each other, on the south side of Jerusalem is called Gilo. It is surprising that Har Choma is not called Gilo. However, they decided not to call Har Choma Gilo, as three names was enough.
If you cannot afford a home in Jerusalem, Gilo is for you.
Gilo is a suburban neighborhood, of buildings. Built with bumps on the streets, Gilo has been designed to remind you that you should get new shocks and tires. The bumps also let you know that there might be people, somewhere. Children have a tendency to run into streets, and parents have a tendency to not care about their kids. The bumps let you know to speed up after the bump and to not to hit the children at a bump. Outside of the schools, there are also children holding stop signs, to remind you that you should stop at crosswalks and follow traffic laws.
Gilo is also famous for its summer camps for children, known as a ‘Kaytana,’ or day camp, because these poor people cannot afford to get rid of their children for the whole summer. The goal of every American parent, to not have to see their children ever, has not been mastered for the young Israeli child. However, amazing high school and post high school techniques have been developed, as can be seen with Israeli boarding schools and the army. Even with these Israeli techniques of ridding yourself of bothersomeness, the children still come home for the weekends.
Not much they can do about this, as Israel is a small country. We in Israel, have a dream too, that one day we- like American families- will also be able to show the necessary lack of care for our offspring, which makes for an enjoyable vacation. We have been catching up with America when it comes to lack of care and visitation for grandparents. Now the goal is to not have to see the next generation.
Archaeological digs have discovered ancient stuff. Even dating back as far as the First Temple, there were people in Israel.
Why are those people not standing at the bus stop? Very good question. Here is the Tremp Yada to the Gush Etzion area. Tremping meaning hitchhiking spot. It is considered much safer as the word used is Tremp. The reason they are not standing by the bus stop is because, if they took a bus, then they would have to pay.
Let us move to the next Gilo mountain. You will notice a wall with a mural showing what life would be like if Beit Jala was not right across the way.
Gilo abosorbed 15% of the Soviet Jews who moved to Jerusalem, making them a place that has the same percentage of Soviet Jews as the rest of Jerusalem.
We are now going to take a lunch break in Gilo Park, the forest over here, so that your children can get lost. The park was built, as the Jewish National Fund decided not to use the money for the trees that were purchased by the kindergartners in America. A great way to get rid of your children for a while, the residents of Gilo owe a great debt of gratitude to the JNF. As the town representatives have exclaimed, 'Thank you for siphoning the funds, JNF.'
Here, you will notice. I hope you all saw that.
Beit Safafa- An Arab village in Jerusalem, meaning 'House of the Narrow Benches,' because the Jerusalem municipality does not care how uncomfortable people are when they are waiting for buses.
People live here. An Arab village right smack in the middle of Jerusalem, it is considered a neighborhood in Jerusalem. Calling it an Arab village helps bring down the housing tax.
You can buy Jerusalem Stone here. If anybody would like to purchase some Jerusalem Stone, to show your friends overseas how limestone looks, you can pick it up right now. Yes it is heavy. Try to put it in your carry-on luggage.
To note its uniqueness, Beit Safafa is an ancient village, located in Israel.
In 1863, an explorer, explored it. This tourist said it had 30 houses. Unless you are on a boat and risking your life, you are a tourist. I would like to say, 'A person walking around, on vacation in 1863, saw some people.' I noticed that there was a whole city when I visited Copenhagen and I put in a journal that there were people on bicycles. Nonetheless, I do not claim to be an explorer.
Cars get washed here. You can see how this is a distinctively not Jewish area, as there is a lot of manual labor being done right now.
Look to your left, you will notice an animal.
You missed it.
Now let us move back into the Jerusalem that people care about.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
JERUSALEM TOUR: Heading Down to Talpiot
Armon Hanetziv- And we are heading back to Derech Chevron. We are not running this trip well. We were just on that street. The Tayelet was nice. We all got good food at that wedding we weren't invited to. Better than paying for pretzels at the ice cream cart.
Looking out straight ahead of you is the Armon Hanetziv neighborhood, also known as East Talpiot for those people who do not have money. We are now looking at what is known as an undeveloped piece of land. This means nobody has built anything on it. This means it is barren.
Beyond the piece of land are buildings and people who could not afford to live in the Rechavia and Talbiyah neighborhoods. These are also known as the people that are not wealthy enough to enter the Old City through the Jaffa Gate. They must enter through the Zion Gate and walk up a path which dirties their shoes, and thus shows that they are from the poorer areas. Even though they own homes due to their leaving they made in America and the schools they are working at in Israel, along with their friends from Baka, they are still not native Israelis. As such, there is nothing to see here.
It is considered an illegal settlement neighborhood because Jews live here. The Arab neighborhoods surrounding it however, do use Armon Hanetziv for medical services and water and electric, when they are no protesting Armon Hanetziv's existence.
We are back on Derech Chevron. Look, a gas station. We are now at Kikar Bankim, known as the 'Corner of Banks' because there are no banks. You can continue up to your left, if you have a wedding to get to and you want to get lost on side streets that are all a dead end. Kibbutz Ramat Rachel was founded in 1926, with the goal of building a wedding hall in a tent. Now it boasts a wedding hall with a roof that nobody can find until they get lost.
Continuing with the theme of Sheekoon living, we are now going to move towards Talpiot. The real Talpiot. The Sheekoon being the poor area ghetto homes that run two million shekel for 60 square meters.
Talpiot- We are now moving into one of Israel's biggest industrial zones. As such, you will find digital phone shops.
Founded in 1922, to be a garden community, in all of Talpiot you will not find one blade of grass.
You can go to eat here. You can get Shipudim/skewers or Shipudim/skewers. Skewers are an Israeli invention. They are a stick that you use to put meat on, which you can then use for a weapon. The story goes that somebody opened up a skewers place and it was successful. So the guy next to him, opened up a skewers place and it was successful. Noticing that two skewer places are successful, another businessmen noticed that skewers is a good thing to open up in Talpiot. Now, there are 20 skewers places in Talpiot and they are not successful. However, in the tradition of Talpiot, they still sell skewers.
The story goes that there was one falafel place in Jerusalem. And then somebody saw that it was successful and he opened up a falafel place. And then another guy thought falafel is a good idea; it seems to sell. Then they started opening up falafel stands all around the Middle East. The point is that falafel, skewers, chumus and pizza, are all Israeli inventions.
The same story happened with the guys that sell the tiny darbukas in the Old City Shuk. One guy saw that nobody was buying them. And then he said, 'Nobody is buying them, I am going to sell tiny hand-drums that nobody can play too.' And the story goes on from there. And then they saw old copper and said, 'That is something my grandmother owned. I should sell that too.'
The main garage center of Jerusalem is also located in Talpiot, as people do not live there, and this way they can drive their cars there to get them fixed, when they break down. In connection with one of its Jewish founding fathers, the Palestine Land Development Company, you will find many Palestinians working at the garages.
And now, you can see another mall. We are going to let you do some more shopping. As your guide, I feel it is important to take you into the mall. This mall was built a good twenty years ago and to this day it stands as a mall. OK.
Looking out straight ahead of you is the Armon Hanetziv neighborhood, also known as East Talpiot for those people who do not have money. We are now looking at what is known as an undeveloped piece of land. This means nobody has built anything on it. This means it is barren.
Beyond the piece of land are buildings and people who could not afford to live in the Rechavia and Talbiyah neighborhoods. These are also known as the people that are not wealthy enough to enter the Old City through the Jaffa Gate. They must enter through the Zion Gate and walk up a path which dirties their shoes, and thus shows that they are from the poorer areas. Even though they own homes due to their leaving they made in America and the schools they are working at in Israel, along with their friends from Baka, they are still not native Israelis. As such, there is nothing to see here.
It is considered an illegal settlement neighborhood because Jews live here. The Arab neighborhoods surrounding it however, do use Armon Hanetziv for medical services and water and electric, when they are no protesting Armon Hanetziv's existence.
We are back on Derech Chevron. Look, a gas station. We are now at Kikar Bankim, known as the 'Corner of Banks' because there are no banks. You can continue up to your left, if you have a wedding to get to and you want to get lost on side streets that are all a dead end. Kibbutz Ramat Rachel was founded in 1926, with the goal of building a wedding hall in a tent. Now it boasts a wedding hall with a roof that nobody can find until they get lost.
Continuing with the theme of Sheekoon living, we are now going to move towards Talpiot. The real Talpiot. The Sheekoon being the poor area ghetto homes that run two million shekel for 60 square meters.
Talpiot- We are now moving into one of Israel's biggest industrial zones. As such, you will find digital phone shops.
Founded in 1922, to be a garden community, in all of Talpiot you will not find one blade of grass.
You can go to eat here. You can get Shipudim/skewers or Shipudim/skewers. Skewers are an Israeli invention. They are a stick that you use to put meat on, which you can then use for a weapon. The story goes that somebody opened up a skewers place and it was successful. So the guy next to him, opened up a skewers place and it was successful. Noticing that two skewer places are successful, another businessmen noticed that skewers is a good thing to open up in Talpiot. Now, there are 20 skewers places in Talpiot and they are not successful. However, in the tradition of Talpiot, they still sell skewers.
The story goes that there was one falafel place in Jerusalem. And then somebody saw that it was successful and he opened up a falafel place. And then another guy thought falafel is a good idea; it seems to sell. Then they started opening up falafel stands all around the Middle East. The point is that falafel, skewers, chumus and pizza, are all Israeli inventions.
The same story happened with the guys that sell the tiny darbukas in the Old City Shuk. One guy saw that nobody was buying them. And then he said, 'Nobody is buying them, I am going to sell tiny hand-drums that nobody can play too.' And the story goes on from there. And then they saw old copper and said, 'That is something my grandmother owned. I should sell that too.'
The main garage center of Jerusalem is also located in Talpiot, as people do not live there, and this way they can drive their cars there to get them fixed, when they break down. In connection with one of its Jewish founding fathers, the Palestine Land Development Company, you will find many Palestinians working at the garages.
And now, you can see another mall. We are going to let you do some more shopping. As your guide, I feel it is important to take you into the mall. This mall was built a good twenty years ago and to this day it stands as a mall. OK.
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