The whole labor idea kind of killed my perception of a Jew. A whole life of owning garages, and now Jews were working in them too. In my first week at ulpan, I already realized that higher education was pointless. Even third grade was pointless. Addition and subtraction was enough. In ulpan they made sure I had down the third grade level, then they said, 'Go. That is enough for you to make it here, in your new homeland.'
I learned on the streets, as any manual laborer must. I became a person of the world. I even learned how to use a stick shift. I felt like I had become contaminated. I felt like such a low life.
A close friend of mine moved to Israel and is now working as a mechanic. He understands that when you move to Israel, the Jewish stereotype changes. We are not the weak Jew who has been oppressed our whole life and is now extremely rich. We are the Oleh who is the weak Jew, who is being oppressed by our fellow Middle Eastern employees, and is now extremely poor. But that is what those first few years are about; learning the way of the land. You have to shed that stereotype of the weak American and be that person that is not the fryer.
You must learn to do the frying. In business, there is a winner and a loser. That is the Middle Eastern way of life. There is no win-win. That is only in sports like Matkot. In the US, there is always a win-lose in sports; hence, in business, there must be a win-win. It starts on the basic level. Which cubical do you have? Do not lose the fight, or you will be the fryer. Never mentioned in conversation as it is happening, you will notice when all the dine pt. pens are taken, and you are stuck with the medium points. Do not do what you believe to be a favor, you fryer. Never hold the door for anybody. That would make you the weak, the fryer.
Americans know how to screw people over on a global level. However, that doesn't help when you end up getting cut in line and now have to eat semi-warm falafel. We did not grow up doing petty frying (verb for word fryer- see The Aliyah Dictionary for explanation. The reflexive verb would be Hitfrafreiti- where you screw over yourself), unless we had fruit and traded that for chips at snack time. Americans do not do frying, they use lawyers to screw people over. You don't hold the door, that is fine. You are not the fryer for doing me a favor, but I will find a way to sue you for offending me. You might have won the game, but I have your home.
In America, there is no room for petty frying games. It is all cut too right. You do not have to wait in line to see a doctor. But you will die with your healthcare, because you are over 70.
I know the physical labor concept sounds a bit harsh. Nefesh BNefesh and the Jewish Agency have been trying to hide it for years. They have not hooked up anybody with a job as business owner, and they will not admit to that. They did not mention labor when they said that there are jobs in Israel, and that is wrong. However, there are ways of getting around the physical labor.
You don’t necessarily have to do the labor. You can be the head mechanic that never touches a car and justifies to the people how it took 2 hours of labor to change a tire. Letting them know how hard it was, while taking 250nis an hour, for a 2 hour job that took 15 minutes is an art and a skill on which the mechanic profession is built upon. You are not the fryer. When you are able to look into somebody's eyes and say, 'That tire was heavy, that is an extra 200nis,' you have won the game.
You will advance that much quicker in Aliyah process and acclimating to the Middle East way of life, as you learn how to rip off people that trust you. Reminds me of a beautiful song, ‘That’s What Friends Are For.’
Or you can scratch all of this, hold onto your values about caring for other people, and go back to America. When I say America, I mean any country where all is easy and the system of employment is simple and set and boring, as long as you pay $300,000 for an education. A country where parents expect you to leave the home and do 'something' with your life. Something means a job. I am obviously not talking to anybody from a third world country; meaning any country other than the US and Britain. That is just the way it is in the Middle East and we pray that value system in the workplace will come of age. We pray for that time when the American customer service makes it to Israel and they give us shoes for free. However, till then, try to keep your head held hi, as you lose all of your money to your mechanic.
You want to keep your work ethic alive. Well, be the only one and Gd willing, we will join you. You will be the one to bring the win-win to Israel. And hopefully, you will also stop them from playing Matkot, so that I can walk down the beach without getting hit by a ball. The only catch is that you have to get a real job here to make that happen. That is why you need to score your Protexyah. The only way to do that is to make friends with all those mechanics you work with. Next thing you know, you met the guy’s brother, whose name is Guy, and you are scoring free falafel balls while they are spreading your Chumus. And now you are on the front of the line, without even waiting. And you won't have to do anything. That is when you know you have made it in the Israeli work force. It is not about living in a mansion, it is about free snacks. Protexyah my Ach Sheli.
Lesson:
-Learn to do physical labor, so that you can tell other people it is hard and charge a lot.
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