JOBS: I am Not a Rabbi & Definitely Not a Doctor

My credentials were weak. I don't even feel like my rabbinical career was a real one. I worked on a campus. I was a Hillel rabbi. I was part of the second tier of rabbis. I was working with college students. They did not trust me with regular people. They figured, 'students drink a lot of alcohol, they won’t notice the difference.'
I didn’t work with the regular Jewish life cycle events. I did not have the opportunity to initiate a young man into adulthood. However, I did initiate some young men into their fraternities, and introduced them to binge drinking. That is a step in the direction of being a man and puking. I make changes to those souls and lives. I performed the handing over of the Shabbat Kiddush Mug ceremony. All new brothers could perform the Shabbat Kiddush and then use that same cup to go around to all the parties and drink underage. That was the most meaningful life cycle change I was able to be part of.
It was meaningful. I must say, bringing religious meaning to the life of young adults is beautiful.

I would have thought to have worked as a rabbi, social worker, or doctor in Israel. I am not a doctor, and that has nothing to do with it. I will tell you that if I was a doctor, I wouldn’t correct people for calling me by my name. I am not a pretentious ‘I worked for that title’ never had a girlfriend in high school degree person. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school, and that has nothing to do with it. I got a masters degree, and none of our curriculum addressed the topic of how to be conceited and bald. We did not get educated on how to be jerks to everybody we meet.
In Israel, you do not hear people correcting you for not calling them a doctor, because in Israel, the doctor does not make the money which makes it worthwhile to be called a doctor.
Twenty three shekel an hour does not make it worthwhile to work in your profession. Want to make money in Israel, as an immigrant, be a waiter. Then people will call you doctor, and it will be like a cool nickname. Maybe they'll even call you 'Doc' and you can have a personality and the same job as your kid. Better yet, do not graduate high school. Then you won't feel stupid for not dating anybody or having a life in high school, and you will not feel the insecure need to be called a doctor, when you are a teacher.
Your education was a mistake, accept it. Be a renaissance man and let those customers know, ‘I am waiter. That is waiter. I dropped out of school for that. Check out my certificate…worker of the month.’ That is something to be proud of.
That is why we do not call other people by titles in Israel. Being a doctor would make me a fryer. Spending an extra five years in school to make as much as a waiter...calling yourself anything other than a waiter would make you a fryer. Say what you want, it is the meaning behind the job which is why somebody would do it in Israel. But do not mistake, in Israel, you do not pay much for university. In America you have to be called a doctor, because you are spending 20 years paying somebody named Sallie back for that certificate hanging on that wall, making you whatever you are. ‘Call me a doctor! Damn it!’ Add in a little soft curse after you force me to say doctor, and then I might respect you.
And stop talking about wine.

Lessons:
Be a waiter. Tips is what you need. If you cannot be a waiter, be a tour guide. The real money is in the stuff you do not report.